Six Stupid Reasons to Move to Austin, a Mediocre Town
"This is probably the one people think of as being Austin's big draw -- SXSW, Austin City Limits, film festivals, etc. It's the cultural center of Texas, that's for sure. No one's going to Houston for much of anything. (Houston sucks. Sorry Houston, real talk.)"
Okay, punk, you want some real talk? We'll give you some real talk.
Yes, this so-called cultural center has no major art museums to equal any of Houston's top three, nor a grand opera, nor a top-tier symphony. Austin has no equivalent to the Alley Theatre, nor a ballet to equal ours. There are no pro sports in Austin, nor a zoo. There's no Hong Kong City Mall in Austin, and Houston's ethnic restaurants (beyond those purveying breakfast tacos) put theirs to shame. Austin has no equivalent to I-Fest or the Art Car Parade, though they are trying to steal that last as their own, in time-honored Austin fashion.
If no one is coming to Houston for much of anything, why is it growing faster than almost everywhere else? Tell that to the thousands of immigrants coming here from all over the world and the migrants coming here from all over America.
Lastly, Reed praises Austin for being "livable." Oddly, he doesn't mention Austin's natural semi-bounty -- all those lakes and hills that give it the most pleasant setting in Texas. (Not so oddly, since he's trying to make a case for Austin, he doesn't even mention the city's traffic, which is even worse than Houston's, despite what virtually every Austinite claims.)
Reed can imagine putting down roots there. He's not planning his next move for the first time in his life.
I could live here forever, I think, and that's goddamn terrifying, but it's also really lovely and comfortable. It's not a place where you're going to get famous, probably, but who cares? When has fame ever made anyone any happier?
Austin's the sort of place you can settle into, the kind of place where you stop worrying so much about that kind of thing and revise your concept of success a little bit. In 30 years or so, I'll be an old guy on a bike, a true Austin trademark.
Yep, Reed has actually consciously decided and publicly announced himself to be just another denizen of Michael Corcoran's Mediocre, Texas, living a mediocre life in a mediocre city.
Good for you, Ed Reed. And please don't move here.
H/t to Burton Anderson.
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