NFL Draft WARNING Label: JaMarcus Russell 2007 Draft Footage

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Oh-oh, he's standing up.
The day is finally here. Tonight at 7 p.m. all of the analysis, evaluation and conjecture will end (temporarily) and the hopes and dreams of 32 young men will come true. It is the first round of the NFL Draft, and for fans of everyone except the Jets it is another day of hope that your team is trending in the right direction, and for the players selected it is a lucrative stop along the way of what they hope will be a Pro Bowl career.

Unfortunately, for many of the players selected tonight, history tells us that this will be the best night of their professional careers, that they will never deserve nor receive more adulation as professional football players than they will tonight. They just don't know it yet.

I will be live-blogging the first round of the NFL Draft right here on "Hair Balls" tonight, so there are thousands of words to be typed by me later tonight. For now, I want to post a cautionary tale for fans and players as they take in the draft tonight.

Rewind to Draft Day 2007.

The Oakland Raiders hold the number one overall pick in the draft. Theoretically, this should be the easiest pick to get correct. You have every player available to you, and the players worthy of being selected this high (and paid that much) are the most thoroughly evaluated and scrutinized.The floor on a player selected first overall should be at least average in the NFL, otherwise why not just let some of your fans who watch a shit ton of football decide who to take? Why pay a general manager millions of dollars to screw it up? But I digress...

Back to 2007, the Raiders, with the first overall pick, selected LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell, who at that time had last been seen on a football field torching Notre Dame's (highly flammable) secondary for over 300 yards in a Sugar Bowl romp on New Year's night 2007.

We all know how that story ended for JaMarcus the football player (not well, out of the league within three years), and for JaMarcus the human being, sadly, it feels like there are going to be a few more pathetic chapters written (purple drank, anyone?).

But to fully convey the absurdity of the inexact nature of tonight's proceedings, go ahead and check out the YouTube of the telecast of the Russell selection, complete with the equally absurd Chris Berman and the ever present (and absurdly coiffed) Mel Kiper Jr. (Zapruder-style breakdown below):

Highlights of that video:

0:27 -- Chris Berman's first thing he points out about Russell is that they had just shown a highlight of him throwing 60 yards from his knees, like that's somehow a skill that is remotely applicable in the NFL. (Sadly, back when Al Davis was running things, "throws 60 yards from knees" was probably at the top of the Raiders' Russell scouting report.) Amazingly, Tom Brady has managed to succeed in the NFL without being able to heave the ball 60 yards from a kneeling position. The funny thing is that if you go to YouTube and put "JaMarcus Russell" in the search box, the pull-down menu's first two choices are "JaMarcus Russell throws on knees" and "JaMarcus Russell sacks himself." True story.

0:52 -- Kiper immediately points out that the Raiders "could have taken Calvin Johnson," and the only thing more chilling is the fact that you know the explanation for why they were right in taking Russell over Johnson is forthcoming. And here it is...

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