NBA Lucky Sperm Club: Javale McGee's Video Resume (Including His Moronic Goaltending Last Night)

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Javale McGee is entertaining, for sure.
Lucky Sperm Club.

It's a term I often use for professional athletes who, if they weren't so genetically gifted, would be super-sizing french fries at the drive-through for the next 60 years. To be clear, the term is not meant for all physical freaks. Just the ones who display an IQ somewhere between a turnip and a Kardashian.

With a father who was a second-round pick in the 1985 NBA draft and a mother who actually played in the WNBA, Washington Wizards center Javale McGee is as close to a Lucky Sperm Club poster child as you can get.

This post started out as a few hundred words of snark about McGee's ridiculous goaltending in last night's game against Sacramento (more on this in a minute); however, McGee is one of those rare individuals who can singlehandedly send you into YouTube Related Video Hell.

It started with me searching out the goaltending, but then the sidebar had this video of two McGee open-floor gaffes, the first one where it appears a ghost poked the ball free as he went up for a meaningless windmill dunk, and the second one where he decides to take off from the free throw line but forgets that there's a person in his way:


From there, I found this gem. It's a highlight package from the NBA Network of a 98-79 Wizards loss last March to the Chicago Bulls (including current Rockets coach Kevin McHale on commentary!) where McGee garnered his first career triple-double in fairly ignominious fashion:

After the game, McGee said, "I got a triple-double. Who can say they got a triple-double? I'm not really worried about it." Somewhere, Anthony Bowie approves.

Speaking of Kevin McHale, he was actually on the sidelines as Rockets coach for McGee's next trick. Remember this? The in-game alley-oop off glass to himself earlier this season?

That little stunt got McGee benched by then head coach Flip Saunders. Of course, Saunders wound up fired a few weeks later, so McGee actually lost the battle but won the war.



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Well, I'm glad he's not supersizing fries at a drive through. My guess is that McGee would start to hand me my food, then randomly sprint as hard as he could towards the parking lot before throwing the fries all over the roof of a nearby Lexus. And, honestly, who needs that aggravation?

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