11 Vintage Valentine's Day Cards and Why They Are Really Creepy

Categories: Whatever

Love is in the air. Kids everywhere -- or, more likely, their moms -- are buying boxes of cheap Valentine's Day cards to hand out in the classroom.

It's a tradition that's been going on for years, and obviously it's not just for kids. But in days of yore, card designers could seem a little....creepy.

Like in these 11 examples.

11. The drugs make him hunt
Those eyes and armed? The chicks'll be swarming at ya, kid.

10. As we die a slow, burning death
This is like the last scene of Titanic, if it took place in a fiery hell instead of the North Atlantic.

9. She puts the lotion in the pumpkin
It's not the double-entendres of eating and going deeper and deeper, it's the Silence of the Lambs way the dude's looking at his captured, helpless prey.

8. What could possibly be creepy about this?
Offensive? Sure. But even if you take away the words, it still looks like you're getting a valentine from an 84-year-old grandma.

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Alice Fening
Alice Fening

But then again its America so go figure.


Look at the highlighted letters in #1. It's anagrammic code for

"Anal A Bitch, Mime Hot Minty Joy!"or "Hmm. Labia Machine. Tiny Joy Tot."


#5 is for a threesome it's an early lesbian valentine.  


Aww, I thought the tea one was cute... till I realized her little face looked waaaay too happy....


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