The Ten Quickest Ways to Get Un-Followed or De-Friended on Twitter and Facebook

Anyone who spends an extended period of time on social networks like Facebook and Twitter understands that there are certain offenses that are nearly unforgivable. Just as in real life, there are lines that don't need to be crossed. You might be slightly more tolerant of them online simply because they aren't in your face, but annoy any of us one time too many and that's it, you're done.

While these offenses may or may not rise to the level of being fully blocked, they certainly meet the criteria for un-following and/or de-friending. I'll admit I've likely been guilty of at least one of these, but there's a difference between a one-time transgression and a full-blown disorder. Here are the ten quickest ways to get un-followed or de-friended.

10. Incessant Moping

Whenever I would mope around the house as a kid, my mom would mockingly say, "Oh, poor baby, your life is so hard." It might have been a little shitty, but she was essentially correct. If you are on Twitter and Facebook, your life already has to be pretty damn good because you have a phone or computer with a connection to the Internet and time to waste on it.

Exception: You are funny, intentionally or otherwise.

9. yOu TYPE LikE Thi$

This also includes writing in text-speak. Occasionally, on Twitter you might need to abbreviate for space, but turning "What a great show last night" into "wht a gr8 sho last nt" is just lazy.

Exception: You are under the age of 12 and a relative or child of a friend.

8. Overt Snobbishness

"Oh, my GOD, this place has ZERO craft beer options. FAIL!" Anyone with an obsessive interest in anything -- music, food, movies, superheroes, etc. -- often shares this obsession with online followers in the form of really annoying complaints for those of us not enlightened enough to understand "the truth." Talk about fail.

Exception: You are nearly always right. It's rare, but it happens.

7. Constant Complaining

Much like the incessant moper, the constant complainer thinks everything sucks and, often, that the rest of us are idiots for not recognizing it. No one needs that kind of negativity in their lives, online or off.

Exception: Your bitterness amuses me.

6. One Track Updates

I had a musician friend years ago. Everyone who knew him understood that he was only capable of talking about two things: girls and drums. That's it. Now, it could often be entertaining and, if you were a young male musician, these weren't the worst things to be stuck discussing. Now, I prefer my conversations slightly more diverse, though music is still fair game.

Exception: I care about what track you are on.

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Dude clearly knows what day of the week it is. WOw.privacy-toolz dot com

Dave Lieberman
Dave Lieberman

14. Flood me with stupid app requests for apps nobody cares about anyway. Since I have to stop and block the app (since you tagged me or invited me), I can take the extra few seconds to un-friend you. Exception: None, not even for apps I might use.


13. 4Square. Telling me you're the mayor of Joe's Sandwich Shop or just earned the No One Cares badge results in immediate unfollow unless we are really good friends in real life. Even then, it's tempting.

Jim C
Jim C

12. Repeatedly posting links to trojans and viruses, or notices that everyone in your friend list or address book now needs to change their password because you lack the ability to see something without clicking on it..

Not Klout
Not Klout

Here's #11 for Twitter: Send mountains of Klout-SPAM with your Klout score, who you gave +K's to, that you need +Ks, that you won a Klout-perk, ad nauseum. I'm not sure I trust Klout's relaibility anyway, How can Klout be reliable if Chuck Norris gets his ass kicked by Sarah Palin?  :)


11. Ex-stalking. if someone I have recently dated (condolences) blows up my damn feed, phone, and text every time I mention someone new or post or get tagged in a picture with or near someone of the female persuasion with "WHY YOU TALKIN TO DAT JANKY ASS BITCH??" it is time for a restraining order from Mr. Zuckerburg. Better to un-friend AND block these rabbit boiling psychopaths because they will always figure out a way to Trojan-horse back into your social-sphere.Exception: If I am stalking you, then it is because you have "grossly underestimated my capacity to love!!"Exception 2: you may be into said "person of the female persuasion" in the photo in question as well....jus


Um, Cv73, that you've had this experience often enough to cite it, means you gotta move up in the dating pool or cleanse your karma or something 'cause you ain't living right, partner.

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