Meet Texas's Only "Rules-Certified" Dating Coach

Categories: Whatever

kim.jpg
Photo courtesy Kim Evazians
A Modern Geisha is always grateful, and so are we.

With so many online dating and former Soviet mail-order bride choices out there, it's sometimes hard to tell where to get the most bang (heh) for your buck. So when a flack for CupidRadar told us the site teamed up with Texas's first dating coach certified in the art of The Rules, we thought we'd check it out.

How does one qualify to be certified in The Rules, you ask. Well, you take an exam through The Rules Web site. Apparently, you have to know a thing or two about relationships, because you can charge people for your advice. If coach Kim Evazians, of Austin, charged us for the time for our interview, we'd have had to cough up about $90. And that didn't even include phone sex.

But her clients -- women only -- aren't looking for that, obviously; they come to Evazians to hear not only a Rules-based perspective, but a philosophy she calls "The Modern Geisha." At first we got all excited because we thought geishas were pretty much just mimes of the prostitute world, but it appears that we were misinformed, and Evazians's deal is all about empowering women and stuff.

While Evazians says the Rules have their place, and they do work, the Modern Geisha theory is more sensual than pedantic. As she says of the Rules, "The name itself is a little negative and it sounds about as sexy as the Holy Bible."

That's why the Modern Geisha is all about secrets and mantras, such as, "A Modern Geisha is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed." Also, "A Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood," which she describes as, "basically, it's my way of saying 'Don't be a bitch.'" Personally, our favorite part of the Modern Geisha philosophy is when Evazians counsels clients on "the pleasures of the bed."

Evazians also offers emergency counseling, whereby a client can text a "911" request during a critical time when "she's either about to gouge his eyes out, choke him, slash his tires, go boil his rabbit," Evazians jokes. While the whole concept is kind of difficult for us to picture, Evazians says it's one of her most popular services -- probably because it's in those instances where she's especially frank with the freaking-out client.

It's just too bad Evazians doesn't coach dudes, because we'd like to hear more about this "pleasures of the bed" business. But maybe a Modern Geisha can fill us in one day.


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26 comments
Strong_Girls__28
Strong_Girls__28

Тhis is сrаzу...Мy friеnd`s sistеr mакеs 78/hr оn thе intеrnеt.  Shе hаs bееn unеmрlоуеd fоr 11 mоnths but lаst mоnth hеr incоmе wаs  7985$ јust wоrкing оn thе РС fоr а fеw hоurs.  Read about it here .......    C a s h M a n y . c о m  

Strong_Girls__28
Strong_Girls__28

This is crazy....my best friend's mom makes $88 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 10 months but last month her check was $5483 just working on the computer for a few hours...Read about it here.... WantMoney .....

Vanessa Graves, Esquire
Vanessa Graves, Esquire

Sounds like Miss Kim (a/k/a Lil Miss Geisha) is onto something.  The Rules are so passe now.  Been there done that.  They provide a solid foundation.  But they don't tell you how to build a house.  The Geisha thing sounds much more intriguing and alluring.  Dont' give me a set of rules.  Rules are made to be broken.  Give me a set of principles and I will figure out how they apply from situation to situation.  If that's what she teaches, then I'll for sure be giving her a call.  Can't wait for her book to come out!  I think the world is ready for something fresh and new ................... like this.       

Dee Dee Russell
Dee Dee Russell

Kim is awesome and very wise. I'm a  sexist womanist bohemian living in San Francisco and she's won me as a fan. She shares valuable advice- gratis!- on her private page.

A few comments above reflect snark jealousy and ignorance of what it is that Kim is doing. I'd suggest a glance at her pages. Oh, I haven't paid a cent for her services I just know good, common sense when I see it!

PS yes she's an hot lil Asian lady (with a devoted husband), enough to bring out the green eyed monsters, lol!

Allison
Allison

And if the "Modern Geisha" is just a new name for the same old ish, which it sounds like it is, then the "pleasures of the bed" invloves the woman never actually pointing out what works for her and dissatisfying sex for all involved.

Allison
Allison

Yes! It is incredibly empowering for me to pretend I never get angry, or sad, or frustrated, and have no opinions of my own. Pesky emotions. Yeah Rules!!!

Far Too Far
Far Too Far

Ok sweetie now your empowered, I'm pretty sure the house isn't going to clean itself and don't forget there is laundry to do as well !!!!!  Oh if you'd cook something that would be swell in between your Geishaness

Allison
Allison

Yes, I am terribly jealous that instead of a Rules relationship, the relationships I enter into are based on mutual respect, honesty, open communication, and not stiffling emotions that may be inconvenient for the other person/people involved.

Helen
Helen

I haven't read a word of this woman's blog/website/whatever. I've got a hot piece of tasty man meat in true love flavor at home, so no jealousy here. I have read The Rules. The Rules did not land me said tasty man meat. The Rules just made men think I had crazy neurotic lady brain. Or wasn't that in to them. You know how I found true love? Taking initiative. I broke the number one Rule and approached a man I was interested in. Other thing that worked? Being my true self, laying all my cards on the table early in the relationship and being up front about my wants/needs/expectations. He did the same. It was mindblowing. Euphoric. Since you can't effectively trick someone into falling in love with you, I highly recommend this honesty thing.

I will say that there was one really awesome slice of advice I got out of all those dating books: cut your losses early. If he/she doesn't seem that into you, he/she isn't and the sane, healthy, rational thing to do is to move on. The sooner, the better.

PS - At least one of the women who wrote The Rules is divorced now.

The Modern Geisha
The Modern Geisha

Dear Dee Dee,

Thank you for your kind words and compliments! And thanks for being such a huge fan and supporter! People might think I'm paying you to post this.

As my husband always says, "If all the women out there aren't being jealous, snarky and  catty towards you, then you're not doing a good enough job being UNREASONABLY HOT!!!"

LOL!!! That's how we roll!

Much Love & Gratitude,

The Modern Geisha

Dee Dee Russell
Dee Dee Russell

Are you that same chick who got kicked out of a theatre for texting???

T
T

Stop trolling for your awful twitter! You're beyond annoying yet another boring "mean girl"

The Modern Geisha
The Modern Geisha

Between me and my husband, we both know what makes a "good housewife".... And it has nothing to do with cooking and cleaning! LOL!

Thanks for reading!

Cheers,The Modern Geisha

AC
AC

TR is just a name given to an attitude of an empowerment - the same that you seem to support.  This is what your grandparents would've taught your parents.  It doesn't matter what name its given, it matters that people end up happily married.  Biology is.

T
T

From what I understand Kim has been married for  years. What about you? Your assumptions appear based on pure spite.

AC
AC

And re-married very happily!  

Girtania
Girtania

And remarried ;) . Btw i agree with you Helen. You cant trick some to love you, so that is not what the rules does.  If you read the book alone, it can be misinterpreted. Its a skill and tool to set healthy boundaries, get busy get a life ! You are an independent woman and a kind women, always happy doing things you love doing. Happy people attract happy people, and negative emotions are handled constructively

Dee Dee Russell
Dee Dee Russell

"I haven't read a word of this woman's blog/website/whatever."THIS

Dee Dee Russell
Dee Dee Russell

You're welcome!I'm a womanist (and straight!) I have 4 big sisters and  am socialized to respect & support females and to give them credit where credit is due.I haven't paid you a dime and you haven't paid me a dime, less on a penny for my thoughts. I'm going out on a limb using my real name imho.And your husband is right!  You're in Texas if this article was printed in the San Francisco Chronicle you'd have a much different reaction (supportive positive and complimentary).

T
T

You got that right and by the looks of your photo your husband is a damn lucky man

Kim Evazians
Kim Evazians

Just because I am a happily married and certified Rules Dating Coach does not mean I think everyone should get married.

In fact, I think some people need to remain single. There's nothing wrong with a single life. Before I was married, there was never a lack of men and sex in my life.

I once said to my husband, "If I wasn't married to you, I'd be happily single and happily dating.... Like 10 men!"

To which he dryly replied, "Only 10?...... Slacker."

Kim Evazians
Kim Evazians

Dear T, I agree with you 100%. As general philosophy and practice, the Modern Geisha never feels needs to defend or explain herself to anyone about anything.... Ever.

It's very a American idea for people to want to exercise their right to free speech. But I, on the other hand, will reserve my right to remain silent.

While many people may feel the urge to emotionally vomit on the internet and tell everyone exactly how they feel, what they know or what's on their mind at all times (as if anyone really cares), I relish in guarding my cherished "secrets" and I have no reason to be handing them out so freely.

In fact, all my girls know my policy: "You pay, I talk."

It looks to me like you've got this "Wonder Woman" cartoon character all figured out. LOL!Envy is jealousy so deep, it is a sin. It brings out the worst in you. Envy is notoriously known as one of the 7 Deadly Sins.

BTW, I don't have anything against cartoons. I never understood a single word Donald Duck ever said. He was always piping mad, irate and quacking about something. But at least he was cute and funny as hell! He quacks me up! LOL!

Anyway, we don't need to be in a bad mood about someone trolling and Tweeting their heart out. It's OK. I'm quite flattered by all this attention. If someone is taking that much time and effort out their busy day to troll and Tweet madly about me or The Rules, then it only shows how much they care. It brought fans to come out and speak up to defend my cause and show their support, for which I am deeply grateful and touched.... Especially yours, T! Well said! Bravo!

If more people now know about me because of the Tweets and ceaseless trolling, then I should only be thankful for it. Because it's publicity I didn't have to work for or pay for. They are certainly working a lot harder than I am! LOL!

As the saying goes, there's "no such thing as bad publicity."

This is for all my dear girls.... Observe my lesson in the art of Wu Wei. You must understand one thing about words: They are like double-edged swords. For better or for worse, we live by them and die by them.

Thank you for your time and comments everyone! Even the trollmeister, too!It's been deliciously fun and delightful!

Merry Christmas!The Modern Geisha

T
T

"Dr. Absinthe" No one cares what you believe as the lovely photo and write up are about Kim Evazians! You're trying to derail and focus attention on YOU. You have no power except to make yourself look like a small minded woman brimming with envy.

It remains my belief that you are a  spiteful women intent on trolling this forum in order to piggyback web traffic ( your clearly highlighted/linked Twitter account reflects this).

Nothing needs to be explained to you. Yes it does matter about your relationship status as you appear to be a lonely single woman angry that a happily married lady is giving dating advice.  Most single women are happy. You, are not.

So YES,  while you clearly understand the principles you obviously do not agree. But must you be so disagreeable and annoying while doing so?

Allison
Allison

Replying to you, AC, but this is also for T right above you. I do not believe that marriage is the be-all-end-all sign of a successful relationship. I know too many couples (or triads or more) who are deeply in love and happily committed and have no desire to (or legally can't) get married. And in none of those relationships is the woman (if there is one) "always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed." I also know marriages where there is only one thing holding the couple together (insurance or kids for example) and by no definition is it a happy or successful relationship.

So no, it really doesn't matter what my relationship status is. I still find The Rules incredibly sexist, and more hurtful to most women than helpful. And I will say as much.

And major laughs to the idea that I'm jealous (AC this wasn't you) of a relationship structure that I clearly dislike. Someone please explain that one to me.

Kim Evazians
Kim Evazians

Dear Dee Dee, Wow! I am deeply touched by your words. I would expect that from a close friend or client who has actually experienced my help and services first hand. But to see a distant fan show up for me, now that is real love! I am happy, grateful and ecstatic because the Houston Press wrote about me in a very accurate and favorable light. I was represented very well and you never know how these stories turn out. It could have been a wild card. But his story was very engaging, light, fun, breezy and sort of a tease without betraying my "secrets." I was impressed at how much it said in very few. Thanks for being one of my biggest fans and cheerleaders! Love & Gratitude, The Modern Geisha

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