Joe Pressil: Dude, Where's My Semen?

Categories: Courts

dizhair.jpg
Seriously, where is it?
Hair Balls is familiar with people stealing cars, money and jewelry, but a civil suit filed Monday alleges the theft of perhaps an even more precious commodity: semen.

Joe Pressil is accusing a Houston fertility clinic, Advanced Fertility, of accepting a semen sample from a woman claiming to be his wife in 2007, and, without his knowledge or consent, performing "in vitro fertilization which resulted in the birth of twins." Pressil, who recently moved to New York, has also sued Omni-Med, the clinic's in-house sperm bank that he says is essentially holding the remaining frozen semen hostage. The whole mess has caused mental anguish and "economic harm due to substantial child support payments," according to the suit.

Confused? So were we. Fortunately, Pressil's attorney, Jason Gibson, filled us in: He says Pressil started a relationship with a woman who later claimed to be his common-law wife, around 2005. (She's identified as Anetria Pressil in a 2010 custody case). Three months after they broke up in 2007, Gibson says, she told him she was pregnant -- with his progeny. Pressil didn't believe her until a paternity test backed up her story. Pressil let Anetria and the twin boys stay at his home, and he agreed to pay child support, Gibson says.

But in February 2011, "Pressil found a receipt from Omni-Med for cryopreservation of a sperm sample," according to the suit. Pressil called Omni-Med, which punted him to Advanced Fertility, which eventually told him the story about his "wife" coming in with the semen. (Heh..."coming in"...).

Gibson says Anetria surreptitiously smuggled the spunk by saving the condoms that had been used. He says Advanced Fertility and Omni-Care had a duty to notify him that they a) had his sperm; and b) used it to knock up some lady. Anetria got pregnant only to squeeze more money -- and the house -- out of Pressil, Gibson says.

Pressil was charged in February for allegedly assaulting Anetria in 2010 and has agreed to a "pre-trial intervention," whereby prosecutors can dismiss the charge if he doesn't get into trouble for the next year.

According to Anetria's December 2010 affidavit, the alleged incident occurred on the evening of the twins' birthday, when she found a text from a "lady friend" in New York, and "obscene, nude" pictures from her and other women. They argued; she tried to kick him out of the house, but Pressil "punched me in the face, choked me, and proceeded to drag me across the room."

We asked Gibson about the assault allegations; he said Pressil told him the charge had been dismissed. Gibson said Pressil would call us, but we haven't heard from him.

We haven't been able to reach Anetria for comment; we also have a call into Advanced Fertility. We're also freaked the hell out.

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38 comments
fertility doctor Mexico
fertility doctor Mexico

Seriously guys. There's a reason your REAL brain isn't located anywhere near the groinal area. 

Rhymenreason
Rhymenreason

If he's telling the truth, there had to have been signs that she was a nut case. Any woman who would do all that just to have an abusive ex's baby is scary and crazy as hell. As a female, I don't know how she could've done this b/c it's really gross to think she took used condoms and took the contents out. I mean what did she do put it in some tupperware, and give it to them and say I wanna have a baby? It's disgusting to think about and makes me wonder if he's lying. I've never heard of this kind of thing happening anywhere except in movies. Yuck

michael king
michael king

How disgusting. She should go to JAIL. 

michael king
michael king

She rolled the dice. Now she gets the go straight to JAIL card.

Glenndacho2
Glenndacho2

" surreptitiously smuggled the spunk" you have quite the vernacular sir

Kelli
Kelli

According to Anetria's December 2010 affidavit, the alleged incident occurred on the evening of the twins' birthday, when she found a text from a "lady friend" in New York, and "obscene, nude" pictures from her and other women.@Craig

Alex Remon
Alex Remon

I'm confused about the logistics.  When hubby and I did IVF, we had to sign all sorts of consent forms and legal documents, he had to be on antibiotics for a week to ensure there were no bad germs present on his junk during collection, etc etc.  I can't imagine a clinic accepting a bunch of sperm picked out of a condom from the night before.  It's just not high quality enough.

Maybe she did a different fertility treatment that creates several eggs for the woman to release on a specific day instead of the one that's naturally created, and then you trigger those eggs to be released and inseminate naturally.  Maybe that's what happened but he's calling it IVF.

Bruce Edmund Carroll
Bruce Edmund Carroll

and this is why so many men are paying child support because they are thinking with their dicks instead of thinking with their brains.

Cathy Ciszek
Cathy Ciszek

Wonder if he could have her charged with Theft..after all there was a clear intent to dispose of the semen, not gift it to her.

captaingrumpy
captaingrumpy

This proves women have gone too far on the equal thing.  Women on the fertility unit would believe one of their own but a man in the same situ would not get anywhere. Why are there now so many middle aged blonde overweight women in executive positions ???? NOT because of brains but because corporations are expected to have equal numbers in managerial positions. There are sooooo many women in jobs they know nothing about and were only employed in the first place because they are women.Look around,how many men are spokespeople nowdays, etc etc.   It's too late,men have lost.

Miss Penelope
Miss Penelope

this woman sounds like a nutjob and a manipulator. I agree guys....listen to the crazy chick alert, just like woman should listen to OUR red flags!My guess is that he got sucked in by her because she is probably very pretty...that's why men ignore the crazy chick alert.

RolloverRiderPGR
RolloverRiderPGR

I guess it's time to make condoms with MORE spermicide in them! The second thing men might need to do now is to either flush the thing OR wash it out! NEVER leave it in a trash can or you will become a daddy when you least expect it!

Sam
Sam

Seriously guys. There's a reason your REAL brain isn't located anywhere near the groinal area. When the skull-brain starts shouting 'crazy chick alert! crazy chick alert!' you just need to switch off the dick's microphone already and get the hell OUT.

Shikari
Shikari

You have the name wrong.  It is Col. Jack D. Ripper, USAF.  They stole his precious bodily essence.  I am continually baffled by the historical ignorance of today's poetry reading, ganja-head leftist, Hou-Pressie Washington Avenue Snot-Nosed Twenty Somethings.

Hbeard85
Hbeard85

That's really messed up. I feel for the guy, but I guess by the law's standards his biological DNA was up for grabs since it was 'abandoned property' in the condoms.

Ew. I can't believe I typed that. >_<

STILL, didn't the clinic think it was a little, yanno, sketchy that the lady brought her own... tools to them? Shouldn't there have been a due process of questionnaire? "Who did this come from? Well, we need to have him sign off on it as a donation." ect.

ribalding
ribalding

"I would never hit a women.  Never!  You know how they say 'never say never'?  Well I'm saying never.  But I would choke the shit of one."  ~ Chris Rock

This qualifies as one of the very very very few times when it is okay to lay hands on a woman. 

(But to be fair, he should'a known she was crazy after the 3rd date.  That part's on him.)

Ashley
Ashley

I agree. My husband and I have had to see a fertility dr. in he past and before we even made it to the clinic we had a stack of papers as thick as a phone book to fill out. And as I said it was prior to even seeing a dr. Then their were more when we got there. I just don't believe she walked into the clinic with used condoms or anything containing sprem and said, here I want to use this to get pregnant....really. That is about th craziest thing I have ever heard lol

Brittanie Shey
Brittanie Shey

I read another story where a spokesperson for the clinic basically called bullshit on him, saying exactly what you're saying — he came into the clinic, he signed forms, he filled a prescription for antibiotics, etc. He was totally aware of what was going on.

Brooke Schwab
Brooke Schwab

if she is reallly pretty why does she need to "steal" sperm to get pregnant I mean i didnt see anything about this guy being a millionaire and obviously she was able to afford invitro by herself without him knowing and thats expensive so the gold digger persona doesnt fit her lol i think men ignore the crazy chick alert because their brains only see sex when sex is presented to them (no offense boys but it is science lol) I just feel that her being very pretty whether she is or not has nothing to do with iti feel you implied that pretty girls tend to be the crazy ones....please correct me if i misinterpreted your post

Stanley_Ipkiss
Stanley_Ipkiss

Never flush a condom down the toilet. I learnt that lesson the hard way when I was 17 and my girlfriends mum found one that had snuck its way back into the toilet bowl. That was the kind of beating it takes years to get over lol.

Josh
Josh

That psa needs to be on nbc.... The more you know....

punkin003
punkin003

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1,000 like this comment!!!

Craig Malisow
Craig Malisow

I stand corrected -- and my superior, Gen. Buck Turgidson, has already given me a strict talking-to. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll mosey on down to the War Room for a few minutes, see what's doing over there.

Cense2
Cense2

Hahaha...! Love that film!

Stephanie1215
Stephanie1215

If they were married and he wanted a Vasectomy... at least in the state I live in, she would have to physically go with him to sign off on the papers. How the hell could they accept his "sample" without him being present??? Disgusting. 

Craig Malisow
Craig Malisow

To be clear: the alleged abuse occurred before he supposedly found out about the purloined semen.

Ashley
Ashley

wow it looks like I have a spelling prob lol I meant sperm and the. Just wanted to correct myself :)

IkoIhIL
IkoIhIL

Are you unfamiliar with punctuation?

Craig Malisow
Craig Malisow

You're assuming that what he's saying is true, however. This remains to be seen. There is always the possibility that he's full of crap.

Kelli
Kelli

I don't think so since you say it happened on the twin's birthday.

Craig Malisow
Craig Malisow

Hi Kelli -- take another look: the alleged abuse occurred in November, 2010. He claims not to have found out about the in vitro fertilization until February, 2011.

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