Brett Favre, Sage Rosenfels, Etc.: The Pluses & Minuses of Potential New Texans QBs

Categories: Sports

He throws almost-accurate passes in his Wrangler ads!!
With Texan quarterbacks falling like British Tommies at the Somme, speculation is rampant that the team might sign a veteran who would give them a better chance in the playoffs than rookie T.J. Yates.

We're not sure we buy into the theory, but the names being tossed around all come with advantages and disadvantages. Let's examine.

4. Brett Favre
Disadvantage: His playoff performances in his NFL dotage were as uninspiring as his dick pictures.
Advantage: ESPN coverage of the Texans increases exponentionally.

3. Daunte Culpepper
Advantage: He is a self-proclaimed "Jedi knight" on the field.
Disadvantage: Most depressing wiki sentence ever, in terms of his ability: "Culpepper was named UFL Offensive Player of the Week twice in the 2010 season." There are four teams in the UFL.

2. Jeff Garcia
Terrell Owens is no longer around to imply he's gay.
Disadvantage: Got beaten out by Kellen Clemens when the Texans auditioned retired QBs after Matt Schaub got hurt.

1. Sage Rosenfels
Knows Kubiak's system from his Texans stint.
Disadvantage: Does not know that the system includes a rule against going on fumble-inducing helicopter leaps into the air while protecting leads.


NFL, Texans

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Brant Croucher
Brant Croucher

Unlikely we'll get Sage, as he'll have to go through waivers and strategically, no playoff team in the AFC would want him to fall to us. But if by some chance he did, you have to figure the Texans explore it. Otherwise, Yates is the man from here on out!


A quick edit:

Terrell Owens is no linger around to imply he's gay.

I think you mean *longer* although he's not lingering either.... or is he?


Sage is the rage.

Andrew Maness
Andrew Maness

A quick note:

The UFL had five teams in 2010. Possible edit?


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