NFL Quarterback Carousel -- Assessing the Changes

Categories: Game Time, Sports

It's a hard-knock life.
It goes without saying that, other than "best player on NBA team regardless of position," quarterback of an NFL team is the single most influential individual position impacting results in a team sport.

So imagine if one-sixth of the teams in the NBA decided to bench their best player within a week. That would be a big story, right? Hey, I understand football is a different deal. Bigger rosters, more specialization. Still, it's fairly noteworthy that five teams have made major decisions at the quarterback position in the last week or so, either by choice or by necessity/injury. That's a lot.

So, let's give a barely educated assessment of each team's course of action, shall we?

Three Teams Pulling The Plug

Original Starter: Rex Grossman
Replacement: John Beck
Change Trigger Event: Before the season, Grossman boldly predicted that the Redskins would win the NFC East, and at the quarter pole of the season with the Redskins sitting at 3-1, the Sex Cannon was looking like a genius. But alas, much like Grossman's genius status, his status as "competent system quarterback" expired as well with a four-interception game against the Eagles on Sunday. And the funny thing is, with Grossman, you just know that his meltdown is coming eventually, it's just a question of when. As quarterbacks go, he's like Shooter from Hoosiers -- he stays sober and straight for a while, but you know it won't last. The Philly game was Sexy Rexy's "show up an hour late for the game and stumble onto the floor hammered" moment.
Team W-L Record At Replacement: 3-2
Projected Final W-L Record: 6-10
Comment: The Redskins are the one team who changed quarterbacks this week where it actually feels like an immediate upgrade.

If the whole bad-QB thing falls through.
Original Starter: Donovan McNabb
Replacement: Christian Ponder
Change Trigger Event: In a game where ironically McNabb put up his best stats of the year (19 of 24, 177 yards), he was on the business end of a 39-10 ass-kicking at the hands of the Chicago Bears. Add that to the first three games of the season where the Vikings held double-digit leads in the second half and lost all three games with McNabb going limp in the second half, and it was time for the Vikes to determine what exactly they drafted in 2011 12th-overall pick Christian Ponder.
Team W-L Record At Replacement: 1-5
Projected Final W-L Record: 4-12
Comment: Ponder actually looked somewhat competent in his brief stint in mop-up time against the Bears. The interesting thing to watch with the Vikings will be how stud running back Adrian Peterson reacts to having several hundred carries' worth of his running-back odometer consumed while breaking in a young quarterback. At least he'll get paid.

Original Starter: Kyle Orton
Replacement: Tim Tebow
Change Trigger Event: Trailing the Chargers 26-10 in the third quarter last Sunday, and with Orton sitting on a 6 of 13, 34-yard afternoon, Denver head coach John Fox finally fulfilled whatever passage of scripture it is that says Tim Tebow will be the Broncos quarterback in 2011 (book of Timothy, no doubt). Tebow gave the Broncos a spark, and (possibly out of fear of being smitten down by the Lord) Fox decided Tebow would be the Broncos new starter for the foreseeable future.
Team W-L Record At Replacement: 1-4
Projected Final W-L Record: 3-13
Comment: Tebow is probably good enough to win a couple games, but it would be fascinating to see the Broncos end up with the first overall pick. They would almost have to take Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck, which would then make Tebow expendable, which means we would then find out the true open market value on a quarterback who a) has questionable NFL skills, b) has a throwing motion that takes roughly four minutes to complete, and c) would sell a shitload of jerseys. (Prediction: Third round pick, which is where he should have been drafted in 2010.)

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Joel Weckerly
Joel Weckerly

Catholic Seanie -- there's a 1st AND 2nd Timothy in the Good Book. Which one will the Broncos get? 

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