Not-So-Classic Hot Wheels: The 10 Un-Hottest Hot Wheels Imaginable

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Hot Wheels was, for a while, perhaps the coolest invention ever.

Built to go much, much faster than the staid old Matchbox cars, Hot Wheels also came with a DIY track where you could start them off high and have them leap off a ramp into something expensive in the living room, thereby earning no dinner for the night. Eventually you learned to better aim them, and did not starve to death.

The first Hot Wheels included such rocking machines as a Camaro, a Firebird, a Barracuda and a Mustang, cars designed to get young male hearts racing.

You can just feel the excitement here:


You might not feel the excitement, however, with the following ten Hot Wheels models.

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10. A Greyhound bus
Thrill to the rubber-burnin' adventures of interstate bus travel!!!


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9. A snow plow
"Call Mr. Plow, that's my name; that name again Is Mr. Plow." Hours of fun!


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8. A Kinko's van
Eventually Hot Wheels got involved in cross-promotions, resulting in such epic models as this Kinko's van, which we guess might have been cool to have in your Kinko's regional-HQ cubicle, but not really anywhere else.


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7. A Good Humor truck
Another example of marketing gone awry. Unless, of course, Good Humor makes the most bitchin'-est, fastest ice cream trucks in the world, but it keeps it a very big secret.

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6 comments
Corey
Corey

I had most of those at one time or another.... The blimp was cool, back off! :)

smoke faster than you can roll
smoke faster than you can roll

It's more than disturbing someone has kept these in their original packaging all these years.I played with HW some but then my folks found out how fucking painful it was to whip my ass with the sections of track ouch ooh .....

Saulburowyne
Saulburowyne

Every single Hot Wheels car I owned was a license to drive at breakneck speeds around the bathtub, kitchen table, or living room rug.

VROOM! SCREEEEECH! VROOM VROOM! KAPOWWWWW!

And in case you're curious, the snow plow always won.

I Absolutely Cannot Drive 55
I Absolutely Cannot Drive 55

C'mon, a food truck? That proves HW is hip! (But much less so when they release the City Food Inspector Truck.)

TK
TK

Those are hysterical. Loved my Hot Wheels back in the day.  

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