Eight Businesses We Expect Will Be Getting Custom Texas License Plates Soon

Categories: Whatever

We recently wrote about a new crop of Texas license plates with a variety of themes, most of them sports related. One of the designs, however, was for the Texas Roadhouse restaurant chain that isn't even based in the Lone Star State. We certainly understand the passion of a sports fan, but we couldn't figure who would love Texas Roadhouse so much they would pony up extra cash to slap a themed plate on their bumper.

But, since they did it, we figured there are quite a few more businesses that could benefit from this kind of advertising and probably will take advantage. Not only would it make for good brand visibility, but, with a little customization, drivers could help by providing messages to enhance the company's reputation. You're welcome, corporate America.

Artwork by Monica Fuentes.

8. The Longhorn Network

Sure, it almost certainly spells the inevitable destruction of the Big 12 and the complication of a rivalry with Texas A&M that has lasted nearly 100 years. Yes, it may have been the first domino to fall in a massive reshuffling of college football as we know it. Of course it has a limited audience and still no major cable distribution partners. But, when asked how they sleep at night, UT officials would probably respond like Simpsons action movie hero Rainier Wolfcastle when he was asked a similar question: "On top of a big pile of money with many beautiful ladies." Well, they need to promote this new venture and license plates may be their only option.

7. British Petroleum

The public relations mess created by BP when it dumped hundreds of thousands of barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico was only slightly smaller than the mess made from the actual spill. CEO Tony Hayward didn't help with numerous on-the-record gaffes such as telling the Today show, "There's no one who wants this over more than I do. I would like my life back." But, BP can get back on the road to recovery fast with a fashionable license plate. We're certain Exxon would not still be the butt of so many jokes if it had a plate after Valdez.

6. Ikea

Perhaps no retailer has capitalized on giant warehouses filled with cheap, assemble-it-yourself merchandise from Sweden more than Ikea. On second thought, it is the ONLY giant warehouse store filled with cheap, assemble-it-youself merchandise from Sweden. But, just because Ikea has the market cornered doesn't mean it can't give customers a chance to sport its logo with pride. One umlaut or slashed o per vehicle, please.

5. Walmart

Speaking of big box retailers, there is no bigger purveyor of cheap disposables or destroyer of mom-and-pop establishments than Walmart, which makes it an easy target for capitalism-hating lib-o-crats. Walmart could help you tell those commie-loving, class-warfare mongers they can shove it right up their Prius's exhaust pipes with a classy themed license plate. Slap one on the back of your beat up truck alongside the "You can pry my gun from my cold dead hands" bumper sticker and you've got yourself one fine statement there, fella.

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ex-ARCO guy
ex-ARCO guy

Liked the BP tag, but just a slight correction that even Obama missed: BP hasn't been called British Petroleum since the Amoco merge back in 98-99!  Britsh Petroleum is not in its legal title, it's BP, PLC.


Just for you. :)


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