25 Signs That You Aren't From Houston
Earlier this week Arturo Valdes was pulled over for speeding down the West Loop feeder road in the City of Bellaire. After finding "irregularities" with his registration (probably something other than a Bellaire or West U address), Bellaire cops called in a drug dog. The K-9 alerted to the 46-year-old Laredo man's gas tank, in which cops eventually found 230 pounds of pot.
That's right, you're not from Houston
Arturo Valdes, you are clearly not from around here. Had you been from Houston, you would have not expected to safely speed while brown through the city of Bellaire with a king's ransom in weed in your truck.
The Hair Balls staff has come up with 25 more tell-tale signs that someone is not from around here:
25. You arrive here in winter and start whining about the heat in early May. You think Labor Day marks the end of summer.
23. You think you're going to see something spectacular at Space Center Houston.
22. You show up at the Tall Texan (or the Marquis II or the Next Door) on an empty stomach.
21. You go to Marfreless alone. (On second thought, that might mean you are a serial killer.)
20. You belly up to the bar at Griff's and loudly proclaim your admiration for the "scrappiness" of John Stockton.