Lyle Monroe Bensley: Galveston Teen Vampire Joins Pantheon of Weird Seawall Criminals

Categories: Crime

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GCSO
Lyle Bensley: He's a vampire.
Man, what is it about the Seawall? There's just something about that place: nuts on the run from all over Texas wind up there because they just can't run any farther.

If we can liken the state of Texas proper to a margarita, Seawall Boulevard is the bath-salts-crusted rim of the glass. (And hey, some say that the margarita was invented on the Seawall, so the analogy almost makes sense.)

Anyway, here's the latest dispatch from the frontlines...

Imagine it's around dawn on a Saturday morning. You're a single woman alone in an apartment on Galveston's Seawall Boulevard. You wake to the sound of someone kicking in your door and then, here he is coming after you, a tattooed, wild-eyed kid dressed only in boxers and literally growling and hissing.

He then tries to bite your neck and hits you a few times before you are able to escape and make it to the parking lot. A couple of neighbors beckon you into their car, thank god, but this goddamn inked and pierced Hot Topic vampire is still chasing you. He even bangs on the car's windows as your rescuers drive you away.

According to the Galveston County Daily News, that's what happened yesterday. The story goes on to say that police soon spotted 19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley, a.k.a. the Neck-Tattooed Nosferatu, in the parking lot.

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Vampires, Hurricane bears, masturbators, poop-smearers, etc., etc.
After a short foot-chase, Galveston cops took him into custody, whereupon police say he confessed to being a vampire. He was charged with felony burglary with intent to commit assault and is still being held in lieu of $40,000 bail. (The woman suffered minor injuries and refused treatment at the scene.)

Okay, there's a lot wrong with this picture. First, where was his cape? We know standards have slipped since gentlemanly Count Dracula's day, but boxers? Come on.

Second, he was obviously no real vampire because he was outside after dawn. Any real vampire would have turned into dust. And third, when he was being chased by police, he ran. A real vampire would have turned into a bat and fluttered away, squeaking with maniacal delight.

It might be the weirdest crime on the Seawall over the past couple of years, but we're not sure. Here are a few more:

There was Clifford Lee Bradberry, who loved to bang five fingers in his Kia Rondo while watching surfers hang ten in the waves.

There was Gregory Chambers, who allegedly made it his hobby to smear his own poop on the windows of a Seawall Wendy's.

And there was the anonymous homeless car thief who stole a couple's car as they were unloading supplies for a day's pier-fishing. On finding their baby in the car he just stole, the man brought it back and delivered them a stern lecture on the perils of leaving a child in a cold car.

And then there was this desperate booze-fueled crack-rock fracas that ended with a woman claiming that her former drinking buddy had bitten off her lip while patrons and staff of a nearby bar did nothing. Sort of a Kitty Genovese case on a much smaller scale....

We're not even going to get into other Seawall lore, like the organized crime in the Balinese Room, the felony against good taste that was the Flagship Hotel, or the adventures of Hurricane Bear during Ike.


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30 comments
blackcatsearching
blackcatsearching

  Just wish to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness in your post is just nice and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.

Shelbydean7
Shelbydean7

well i do know him i was engaged to him for a year and lived with him he is not like all these people say..he is actually quite normal

Galveston Chef
Galveston Chef

Was there a need to label him? If he were blind would you name him the blind vampire? No you wouldn't. In no way AT ALL was this boy right for what he did, he needs to be evaluated and do some rehab (also along with this I'm sure it WAS scary for the lady seeing a boy in that manner)...But don't make tattoos sound bad.  Some of us are hard workers, great parents and all around good people. Please stick to the facts and keep queries like that to blogging.  Thank you!

Jetclarke
Jetclarke

Felony Burglary? Why is that the charge, when obviously he Break and Entered with intent to Assault, not rob/burglarize? It doesn't say he stole anything. Sexual assault is much more relevant a charge i'd think.

Ads64
Ads64

twilight eliminated the sun as a factor

Pedro
Pedro

That hurricane bear is known as SAFETY BEAR, which 4chan mutilated to become PEDO BEAR, google can give more information on this.4chan ruins everything wholesome and good. EVERYTHING.They're the ones who created "the rules" including rule34.

Goodbye2you2004
Goodbye2you2004

Wow I wonder what he went through to do this, such a handsome young guy. He just needs to be helped.

Alexander Miller
Alexander Miller

What do you know, here's this fool again. Didn't know the residence there had such a weird history of crimes.

Derzhinsky
Derzhinsky

Well, to offer Mister Spock-like rationality, both Houston and Dallas have enough political clout to keep the Texas prison system from sending them newly released convicts when they leave the Huntsville complex, so Galveston is where the cons are sent to get a fresh start in life. 

Guest
Guest

I just want you people to know that I'm friends with this guy and there has never been any indication that he'd do something like this. Believe me, I am glad the woman is okay, but your comments about him are really offensive. He obviously had some sort of psychological break and that is not something to make fun of. I'm not condoning his behavior in any way, but I am worried about him. Think how you would feel if you found out one of your friends suddenly did something like this.

Penelope McFadin
Penelope McFadin

Don't you know today's vampires sparkle in daylight?  They no longer turn to dust silly.  lol

Fotoman
Fotoman

Nice earrings, LOL!!!

AliceKaye
AliceKaye

This guy I know has a "pedo bear" suit that he had specially made for him in China and website about his pedo bear outings. I hate that thing. He has all these horrible things he wants to do in it, to freak people out (nothing like illegal, technically just rude and wrong). I personally don't find it funny at all and he's always trying to get my fiancé to come along on his dumb adventures. Thankfully my guy is to smart for that one. Lol.I tell ya, one day the kid is gonna be arrested for stupidity. :|

Kuei
Kuei

You're just a fucking child molester. What the hell do you know?!?

Love Rude Katastrophe
Love Rude Katastrophe

You are absolutely right. People viewing this site are most likely not going to see the real problem here. But rather rant and completely act like fools by insulting someone they do not know, just so they can ride their high horse and feel as if they do not have any problems. As if they were to make themselves feel "sane". I am here to tell you, 'Guest' is right. You do not PERSONALLY know Lyle Monroe Bensley. Nor do you know what actually made him act this way. People need to back off and be more concerned about the well being of other people. This is why this world is in agony. People care too much about what others think. Care too much about what they have. Not what is important. Instead of bagging on this man, how about you get your heads out of your asses and worry about your life, your family, friends, anything or anyone who this could possibly end up being...M'kay?? xP!

Eva
Eva

hi,im saw it from a chinese web.im surprised that what he did.is it have some special reason?

squinney
squinney

I have been in your shoes, only my friend was murdered.....and you are right.  People are quick to judge and condemn and takes the medias story as the truth.  There is ALWAYS another side to the story.....and usually its no where near the truth.  The media hypes everything up for ratings, etc.  All you can do is be there for your friend if you know the truth.....and not listen to anything else.   I can not be there for mine because he is gone.  I LOVE the Houston Press and read it for entertainment value.....We, the ones who have been reading the Houston Press for centuries that there stories are real....the part real....hyped up a little maybe.....still love the stories !!!

Geezy
Geezy

Maybe he watched that South Park episode where Butters decides to turn into a Vampire. Hell, no cape, hot topic, hissing- he even failed at the neck bite. 

Butters would be proud- but at least he drank Clamato. 

Mattnmikesmom
Mattnmikesmom

Oh get over yourself! Every whack-a-doodle is someone's friend, sibling, parent or relative. Like you wouldn't be blasting him if he was just some random joe.....

Guest
Guest

I am not condemning the news. They're just doing their jobs. But it'd be nice if people took a step back and realized that there's a lot of circumstances that surround acts like these that people aren't aware of. I talked to him the previous night and he was just fine. He's not a nutcase; something happened to him to make him act this way, and I am worried for him because of that. I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I am so lucky that mine is not physically harmed and that the woman is well. But things like this aren't funny, and I wish people had half the sense to take into serious consideration how this affects the people who know him, as well as the woman and Lyle himself.

Guest
Guest

No, I wouldn't. I guess I find it more important to care about the well being of people rather than laughing at their expense.

A.d.Smith
A.d.Smith

It's sad to say, but behavior like this does sound like a side effect of that crazy-ass "bath salts." My brother was injesting this stuff and had some pretty bizzar behavior too. I'm glad the lady wasnt hurt, but your friend needs help as this situation could have turned out a lot worse. I hope he gets the help he needs, and if it is drugs, maybe a stint in the pen can sober him up a bit, at least give him some time to think. Good Luck! 

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