10 Confederate Flag Bikinis and the Subtle Political Statements They Make

Categories: Texas, Whatever

Despite Sam Houston's fervent wishes, Texas joined the Confederacy during the Civil War.

Perhaps old Sam would have endorsed the move if he knew it would eventually lead to the phenomenon of Confederate-flag bikinis. These bikinis, to be sure, do not promote slavery or racism. Instead they make a much more subtle and uplifting argument, depending on the style and the wearer.

10. What it says: "[N]ot everyone that flies the Confederate flag is a racist, but, regrettably, some are, that's a fact of life and it will never change, but for MANY of us that flag does not, IN ANY WAY, represent racism or hatred, it represents our heritage and family histories, nothing more," as this blogger argues. Also, the Stars & Bars were definitely designed for "Look Here" signs on bikinis.

9. What it says: The wearer has obviously studied and agrees with the viewpoints of historian Shelby Foote, who said, "The flag is a symbol my great grandfather fought under and in defense of. I am for flying it anywhere anybody wants to fly it. I do know perfectly well what pain it causes my black friends, but I think that pain is not necessary if they would read the confederate constitution and knew what the confederacy really stood for." Also, the confederate constiution mandates cigs, beer and jorts.

8. What it says: Speaking strictly from an aesthetic point of view, this woman endorses the view of artist Bill Dunlap, who said, "It's a very, very powerful symbol, and if you can separate it from the baggage of history and the histrionics that surround it and look at it, it's almost from a graphic design point of view perfect. I mean, in all the history of heraldry there's nothing that looks quite like that. The only improvement I would make is to make that center star a little bit larger than your eye would lock in on it and you couldn't go away from it."

Except she would add that it needs a tramp stamp, some glitter and a saucy slogan to really make it a design masterpiece.

7. What it says: This woman may very well be J.F. Quayhagen, who wrote a letter to the Shreveport Times about Harvard professor Charles Ogletree Jr. criticizing a rebel flag over the Caddo Parish courthouse.

Now I can surmise that Mr. Ogletree has nothing better to do at Harvard. Perhaps he is in charge of the Revisionist History Department. If so, he would want to completely change the history of the Civil War [sic] and wipe out 1860-64 completely.

We wonder if Mr. Ogletree has any opinions on hideous swimsuits?

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