Seven Idiotic Ways Not to Use Fireworks This 4th of July (With Video Evidence)

Categories: Whatever

This may look like it's all fun and games...
Everyone likes to burn stuff and watch it explode, right? Okay, well, some people do, which is why fireworks are so popular. They combine the fun of burning things with the excitement of blowing things up. It's like peanut butter and chocolate.

This Fourth of July, there are lots of dumb things you could do with your fireworks like blowing up mailboxes or firing rockets into a dry patch of drought-ravaged forest. We don't recommend these things, however, as they are both illegal and idiotic. In fact, we've come up with a list of things you should not do with fireworks this year with video evidence to prove what we mean.

Be safe, pyromaniacs!

7. Have a Roman candle war
In Texas, we're pretty big on guns and shootin' stuff, but we do not generally recommend shooting people with guns or with Roman candles. You've been warned.

6. Tie a rocket to a string
There's a certain kind of dumb that leads people to think that tying an incendiary device to a string and lighting it is a good idea. It isn't.

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James Smith
James Smith

Yes, people can be amazingly stupid.  Then mix in college-age guys, machismo, and Texas.  What could possibly go wrong?

John Nova Lomax
John Nova Lomax

7, 4 and 1 were more or less regular events in my Tennessee youth. Wiffle ball bats make great bottle rocket rifles by the way -- the little hole on the handle end is perfect for bottle rocket sticks. I bet those were about as accurate and had about the same range (if not the stopping power) as Revolutionary War muskets.

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