Our List of Weird Criminal Names, Part Three: The Recent Alvin Walmart Vigilante Case Was Full of Them

Categories: Crime, Whatever

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Not this Lawless, but also a fighter.
News of the Walmart Wahoo Vigilante rang out far and wide over the Houston area the other day, but in case you missed it, here's the story in a nutshell: Three brothers walked out of an Alvin Walmart with three cases of beer they allegedly neglected to pay for, whereupon a petite, 42-year-old single mom tried to stop them by yelling at them, stomping on their car and trying to kick their windshield in.

The brothers just laughed at the woman and drove off after she slid off the hood, but her Bronsonesque stand did not go unrewarded -- the trio was picked up later that day at another Walmart. All three were taken to Brazoria County Jail on charges of felony evading arrest and aggravated robbery.

Odder still were the names of all the principals: the vigilante was ironically named Monique Lawless. The alleged miscreants were siblings: 21-year-old twins Sylvester Andre Thompson, 21, Sylvester Durlentren Thompson, 21, and, yes, their other brother Sylvester: Nineteen-year-old Sylvester freakin' Primitvo Thompson.

That story is tailor-made for another installment of our periodic run-down of creatively named people we've come across in Harris County records over the last couple of months, including one that is quite possibly the most awesome we've ever found....

Monty D. Prymus

Lovely Lavette Jones

Corinthians Contest Barnes

America Star Reyna

Dustin Lee Clodfelter

Nimoy DeShon Johnson

Ontario Hatter

Politica Moneaq Walker

Denero Javon Richardson

Little Ray Torres

Neil Rabbi Rico

Koovasky Zapata

Quenjamiz Eli Porter

And we saved the best for last:

Passionett Dancer


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2 comments
Shaqueasha Washington
Shaqueasha Washington

The idiots that stole the beer locked their getaway car and couldn't get into it. Talk about DUMB.

Fej
Fej

They just wanted to make sure their car wasn't stolen/broken into while they were busy stealing some beer!

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