The Heights-Montrose-Museum District Council Seat: A Checklist for Potential Candidates

jon-stewart050911.jpeg
Must love Jon Stewart.
The proposed new map of city council districts includes one carved out of the Heights, Montrose and the Museum District, uniting the richest, hippest, proud to be Inner Looper bunch of white people possible.

If you're planning to run for the seat, here are some things you need to know:

Must drive Volvo or Prius
And there better be a slightly worn bumper sticker on it supporting gay pride, fighting the Ashby high-rise or protesting Walmart. And Obama, of course.

Type of whiteness required
Wrong: The Lee Greenwood-loving, Sean-Hannity-makes-sense, Jay-Leno-is-funny type
Right: The Beyoncé-liking, Bill-Maher-makes-sense (but can go overboard), Jon-Stewart-is-funny type

Acceptable places to be seen dining at
El Real, Da Marco, Ruggles, Block 7 or Antidote

Position on new development
Only in favor of new development that "enhances" the "unique" aspects of the relevant neighborhood and "preserves" what we all love about it. Turns out, of course, that once in office just about any proposed development fits that category unless there's a real firestorm of protest.

Degree of disagreement with Annise Parker on issues?
Close to nil. (Exceptions: "Firestorm of protest" proposed developments, and even then disagreement will only be half-hearted.)

Feel free to add other requirements in the comments.



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13 comments
Josh Verde
Josh Verde

 Why should we take the jest out, guest? This is a District that enjoys a good time, and a laugh. I took a look at the checklist to see if I pass muster. Tell me what you think:http://verdeforcitycouncil.com...

Walmart Shopper
Walmart Shopper

That sound you hear is Ed Gonzalez thanking God he no longer has to represent the Heights.

BamaLuke
BamaLuke

Screw all these old career politicians. What this District needs is a young professional with a big mouth who can be our version of John Wiley Price.

http://www.johnwileyprice.com/

Guest
Guest

I still want to know when Karen Derr will come out and say she ISN'T the Heights Arsonist. The people demand to know!

Sarah Rufca
Sarah Rufca

I'm disappointed you didn't use the word "hipstrict."

robotboots
robotboots

Cohen all the way! I could not think of a better candidate to represent the district.

Guest
Guest

I think Karen Derr is a great fit for this seat. Taking the back-handed jest out of the requirements description, then Karen fits the community.

copa
copa

I'd love to see Ellen Cohen take the seat for a while. I still can't believe she lost by 800 votes to that Palin-wannabee during last November's "revolution"

EMME
EMME

Ed Gonzalez will still be representing the Heights and he has represented us well.  He will have East Sunset Heights, Norhill and Woodland Heights.   

chef504
chef504

That area already has a plethora of sudo professionals with big mouths, and opinions. I believe that area would best be suited with someone who listens and has a less is more attitude.

Journeyrocks
Journeyrocks

Sounds like a CultureMapism, or an entire article.

Evan
Evan

Karen Derr still refuses to answer allegations about whether or not she is the Heights Arsonist.

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