We Obey Rick Perry: Our Rain Prayer

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Another Texan followng Rick Perry's orders
As you have probably heard, Governor Rick Perry has declared today to be the first of three where Texans should pray for rain.

Some might find it odd that Perry seems to be trying to co-opt the single most important three days of the Christian calendar, but Perry is a man who knows his place in the universe.

So pray we will.

Unfortunately, Perry's proclamation offered no proposed text for the prayer we should send on high. In case you don't know exactly how to word your desperate plea to what is apparently a fickle, sadistic Supreme Being who enjoys watching wildfires destroy homes, we give you the prayer we will be using. Feel free to use it yourself.

Our Father who art in heaven: We know You are very busy, what with making sure no gays or Jews get into heaven, but we humbly beseech thee to hear this our prayer.

We've done all we can down here -- in case You didn't notice, thy servant Senator Dan Patrick hath gotten "In God We Trust" inscribed on the walls of our legislature; We have taken bold steps to insure that the alarming takeover of America's judicial system by Sharia law doesn't happen in Texas; We have battled mightily to increase Thy customers who are sent to the afterlife by allowing guns on college campuses (We kid Thee not).

And what do we get from You in response? A drought.

Lest we sound bitter, knoweth that we're sure it's just a matter of You being distracted by American Idol voting, and that You have not actively ordered this devastation, as You do with hurricanes.

Still, Thy people are suffering.

So would it kill Thee to give us a little rain? And while You are at it, if You could find a way to stop all this bitching from laid-off teachers and the people who go on and on about how shortsighted it is to undercut public education, that would be great too.

And please O Lord, give us just the right amount of rain. We mean, since we're asking and all. None of that "Oh, you want rain, do you? Here's 18 inches in 24 hours" stuff, please.

This we humbly beseech Thee, and giveth our thanks.

Amen.

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6 comments
Continuum
Continuum

Houston's Art group Continuum respond to The response, and by the way, a governor should not discriminate against his own people, Muslims and JW,s are Texans too, lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

'stina
'stina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

I like The Sir Douglas Quintet song "Oh Lord Please Let it Rain in Texas" for this sort of thing. Ignore the video, but listen to the song. Pretty much covers what we're going through right now.

we are all God's children
we are all God's children

When did Perry's office releaseth this statement? That is so cool you apparently got it first, seeing as how you've criticized him 'n' all!

DavidMc
DavidMc

Maybe you guys could do a rain dance down there as well. Or is that too superstitious for you? Separation of church and state? Oh, who cares anymore?

Hair Balls
Hair Balls

The link in the story takes you to our story on his proclamation, which includes a link to the document.

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