The Royal Wedding: Five Ominous Signs In Their Astrological Charts

Categories: Whatever

princewillimamkate.jpg
The official photo of engagement happiness
Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married this week, as you might have heard.

The happy couple will be literally following in the footsteps of Prince Charles and Diana, and we all know how well that turned out.

What do things look like for Bill & Kate? We turned to Houston's never-wrong-unless-it's-March-Madness astrologer, Figgy Jones, for insight.

Outlook: Not so good.

Five possible hitches to the hitchin':

5. Prince William was born under a new moon...in Gemini. We don't automatically think all Geminis or those with a lot of Geminian energy are liars, but we do know the sign represents a real comfort - maybe even a craving - for things in pairs.

4. Kate probably represents karma from a past life. Her Sun is all up in his South Node, which can represent people we've known before, in some fashion. Her moon, a very nurturing one in Cancer, is on his North Node, which can represent where we're going in this life. And because her Sun sign is Capricorn, it's not too far off base to think she could have been his parent. And we all know how young he was when he lost his mum. Don't forget the old adage about how we all marry our parents in some fashion.....

3. They both have a Mars in Libra, possibly the worst sign for Mars, in our humble opinion. They will nice each other to death, and never get contentious items out on the table. Wait--isn't that the royal m.o., anyway - not to mention that of the entire UK? It is SOOO fitting that transiting Saturn is on top their Mars, as shown by the chart for the nuptials. That means a strong foundation such as a marriage; it can also mean a love-challenged match.

2. Mercury just went direct, on Saturday. You should never enter into a major contract or buy big-ticket items involving transportation or communications (i.e., computers) when it's retrograde, and always give yourself time for Mercury to pass the spot it was when it went retro. Google it--anyone can do this.

1. The transiting North Node is at the galactic center. Google it. We're tired, and want to go back to eating the chocolate the Easter Bunny left us. Plus, we're leaving off probably a dozen signs that this union will work (see No. 4 and 3, above).

Mazel tov!

So while there are some troubling portents, it also seems there are signs the whole thing will work out just fine.

Astrology is correct again!!


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3 comments
poopdah
poopdah

The new moon was in CANCER when William was born -- just after an eclipse.

Mr. Bowie
Mr. Bowie

Wait, same charts that put Butler over UConn?

Figgy Jones
Figgy Jones

sigh--and actually, this could be a good love match....

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