The Rebecca Black Video (Bad Lip Reading, "Gang Fight" Edition)
Seemingly everyone with a forum to express an opinion has managed to come up with an angle on Rebecca Black, the 13-year-old viral sensation (as long as "sensation" is measured by "eyeballs viewed" and not "ability to carry a tune") whose hit single "Friday" (and by "single" I mean her ONLY song, not "one song off of an album of several songs") made the rounds on Twitter and e-mail forwards worldwide last week.
She's no 14-year-old quarterback from Delaware.
Since I'm considered a "sports guy," I didn't really consider writing 4,000 words on the little ditty, even though I know I could have gotten 3,500 alone easily on the uncomfortable, borderline sex offender registration inducing rap sequence in the middle of the song.
But believe it or not, I actually did stumble on a sports angle that somehow ties to Rebecca Black.
David Sills is a 14-year-old quarterback who plays for the varsity football team at Red Lion Christian Academy in Delaware. He passed for 1,355 yards and nine touchdowns in eight games, with five interceptions.
Why is he relevant? Well, because he verbally committed to head coach Lane Kiffin and USC last year. He will be among the interested observers at USC's spring practice this week.
Yes, you read that right. He's 14 years old. Kiffin offered him a scholarship based on a video and a recommendation from private quarterbacks coach Steve Clarkson, who has privately tutored the likes of Matt Leinart, Jimmy Clausen and Matt Barkley.
Never mind that Sills has not even exited puberty yet. Never mind that the chances of Kiffin being around in 2014 (when Sills would presumably arrive on campus) are about the same as the buffalo wings in my fridge still being around on Friday. Never mind that Sills plays in Delaware, a state that has less than half the population of the city of Houston (TRANSLATION: The chances that he's a serviceable quarterback as a 14 year old have as much to do with Delaware being a dog shit football state as they do with any chops he may have as a field general.)
No, the best (and by "best" I mean "laughable") part of the David Sills saga is that his personal coach, Clarkson, actually caused a stir last month when he told Los Angeles Times reporter Eric Sondheimer that Auburn had offered Sills a scholarship. Ultimately, the Sills family clarified things and said that it was a Red Lion teammate who received the offer.
Asked Monday if he were still committed to USC, Sills said "100%."
And by God, that's got to be a relief for the Trojan fans who were worried that their 2014 recruiting class was falling apart at the seams! Thankfully, USC still has the number one class in 2014 intact. I know this because as I look at the Rivals.com recruiting rankings for 2014 (if they actually existed), I see that USC is ranked #1 and everybody else is tied for second....with zero actual recruits.
Because only Lane Kiffin is dimwitted enough to verbally offer an eighth grader on the word of a quarterback coach whose business is built on being able to tell people that he coaches marquee college and pro quarterbacks. (Probably not true, by the way, that he's the only coach that dimwitted, but work with me.)
And this is where Rebecca Black provides perspective on the situation.
Think about this: David Sills is the same age as Rebecca Black. He could very easily be the kid in the back seat beckoning Rebecca to skip her bus ride to school and jump in the car. He could just as easily be the kid screaming "YEAH!" after "Partyin', Partyin'."
And Lane Kiffin has offered him a full ride to USC (although I'm guessing the whole thing is "nonbinding" right now, a world in which Lane Kiffin operates very comfortably).
So, you see what I did there? I used sports (David Sills) to weave this post back to Rebecca Black (the topic I really wanted to blog about all along). WOW, dig me, dig my smarts.
Yeah, I can't provide any further insight on how a video that actually mentions the retrieving of a bowl prior to grabbing the cereal in the lyrics has garnered nearly 40 million hits on YouTube (because, frankly, Jeff Balke already does a great job of doing so in a recent post here and John Seaborn Gray did as well here), but I can bestow upon all of you a hilarious video that a good friend of ours at 1560 put together. It's a much darker version of "Friday" called "Gang Fight."
And the best news is the video remains intact! FUN, FUN, FUN....I mean, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT....
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from noon to 3PM weekdays and follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.