The Definitive Duke Basketball Flopping Anthology (with VIDEO)
The calendar flip-over from February to March has a definitive feel to it, different than most "calendar flips." Most of them tend to blend into one another, but March 1 definitely feels like the beginning of something.
Flopping like it's the World Cup
Most will say it feels like renewal with spring coming up. Good weather puts everyone in a great mood. Some will point to the bustle of the rodeo or the debauchery of Mardi Gras as the reason for the extra hop in their step.
For me it comes down to one thing -- hatred.
March is my time of year to hate the Duke Blue Devils. And you know I'm not alone. Thousands of right-thinking people everywhere hate the Duke Blue Devils. We hate the floor slapping, we hate the ugly coeds painted up like a circus clown, we hate Collins and Wojo, we hate Coach K and his bottomless bottle of Grecian formula.
And above all else, we hate the flopping.
Right about now is where Duke fans will point out how Coach K and Duke do everything "the right way," to which my response is, inherently if you feel the need to turn the basketball court into some Broadway stage show with physical acting and pratfalls that would make Jack Tripper jealous, then you're not doing "everything right."
Sure, your "student-athletes" supposedly go to class, take their exams, and by and large conduct themselves like good citizens.
If the price to pay to have a non-flopping five on the floor is a few convenience stores getting robbed at gunpoint, then I say, "stick 'em up!" Because the acts taking place in the embedded videos below, to my basketball-heightened sensibilities, are far more offensive than any mugshot or rap sheet.
So today begins the month of March. My month of hatred. Let the games begin!