Super Bowl & Rolling Blackouts: Start Panicking NOW (Five Doomsday Scenarios)
No one is saying for sure they won't happen again, especially as Houston digs out from what might be three entire inches of snow Friday.
No one really predicted this morning's need for blackouts, so no one can predict the future. And that future includes the Super Bowl.
Now, the weather guys might try to tell you it will actually heat up a bit this weekend in Houston, getting temps into the 50s or so before another cold front comes through next week.
How much more of a doomsday scenario do you need? Rolling blackouts during a Super Bowl is as bad as it gets, pretty much.
5. The blackouts could hit Dallas
We're sure Fox has plenty of back-up generators ready, but what if the power goes out at Cowboys Stadium?
What's that? They'll just put it on a protected grid? Do you actually think they would do that for a football game, possibly increasing the odds that some innocent people would thereby have to pick up even more slack -- well, we guess you're right. It is the Super Bowl, after all. They'll shut off the juice to Parkland Hospital before they hit JerryWorld.
4. The blackouts could hit your house
Abso-goddamn-lutely guaranteed: No blackout will hit during the endless pre-game yammering, or during the touching piano-and-strings-soundtracked heartlifting profile feature of some player, or during the 15-minute national anthem or the endless Black Eyed Peas halftime show. During the last two minutes, when Aaron Rodgers is driving for the win? Boom, you're all of a sudden doing your part to protect the grid.
3. The blackouts could hit the house where you're stuck at a brutally bad gamewatch party
"It'll be fun!!!" your wife/girlfriend says. "You get to watch your game, and I can hang out with some friends!!" Doable, barely, if you indeed can just watch the game with some people you'd otherwise never spend time with. Then the power goes off? Unleash the hounds of hell.
Just hope that no one decides to "lighten things up" by sharing the funny football story his preacher told at that morning's service.
2. The blackouts could come just as the post-game ceremony begins
Did the Super Bowl MVP thank Jesus? DID HE? You'll never know!! Damn you, ERCOT!!
1. The blackouts could last forever, and we'll be reduced to a savage, barter-based economy in a land where brutal gangs hold sway
Fine, fine, whatever. Just not on Sunday.