We Are Your Astros: The 25 Rejected Slogans

Categories: Baseball, Sports

Astros Logo Old.jpg
For Sale! Cheap!
The Astros' slogan for this year is "We Are Your Astros." Seeing this slogan is enough to make one think that Drayton McLane's wasting way too much money on advertising agencies. My second thought was that the guys at the Astros County blog had a much better slogan, "Infected With Rage."

That said, it is only now that we are discovering the other slogans that were pitched to Drayton, and rejected.

1. For Sale By Owner.

2. We Are Your Astros: So You Have Only Yourselves to Blame for the Higher Ticket Prices.

3. The Houston Astros: Carlos Lee's Bitch Since 2007.

4. Nolan Ryan Once Pitched For Us.

5. Steroids-Free Since 2009. We Think.

6. Seriously, Make Us An Offer, Any Offer.

7. These Are Your Astros: So Shut Up And Do Something About Carlos Lee's Contract Already.

8. Still Trying To Milk Craig Biggio For Every Dollar Possible.

9. No Longer The Only Team From Texas To Lose In The World Series.

10. We Are Your Astros: So We Raised the Ticket Prices To Aid You In Your Purchase of the Club.

11. The South Philadelphia Phillies. Way South, And Nowhere Near As Good.

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One Milo Hamilton Free With Every Purchase Of The Team

12. Home Of A Big-Ass Video Screen.

13. At Least We're Not The Texans.

14. Mediocrity, Here We Come!

15. If The Baseball Bores You, At Least We Have A Choo-Choo Train In Left Field For You To Watch.

16. If You Buy This Team Now, We'll Throw In Milo Hamilton At No Extra Cost.

17. This Team Assembled By The Same Minds Who Threw Together The Plot To Tron: Legacy.

18. Houston, We Have A Problem.

19. You Think We're Bad? Try Being A Pirates Fan.

20. Yeah, We Gave Bill Hall A Contract. At Least He's Not Kaz Matsui.

21. The Houston Astros: The Best Baseball Team In The City That Doesn't Use Aluminum Bats.

22. Once the NFL and NBA Players Get Locked Out, We're Going To Be All You've Got.

23. We Passed On Drafting Derek Jeter So That You Wouldn't Have To Deal With All The Hype While He Goes For 3,000 Hits.

24. Giving Ryan Rowland-Smith A Contract Because No One Else Would.

25. Astros Fever, Catch It. And Hey, It's Not Like We Can Get Any Worse.


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3 comments
GlenW
GlenW

The Astros could have drafted Jeter? Really?

Nathan Miller
Nathan Miller

Number 3 made me laugh.

Number 22 just made me sad.

AB
AB

Houston Astros: Richard Justice is currently felating us in the Chronicle.

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