YouTubed Beaumont Catfights Freak Texas the F Out

Categories: Crime

The Southeast Texas portion of the Internet is a-crackle with a report out of Beaumont about fight videos produced by their local youth, some of them shot at area high schools with teenage bystanders egging on the participants.

What seems to shock the writers of these stories the most is that many of the "stars" of these Beaumont Brawlz videos (DVD coming soon! If YouTube is to be believed...) are females.

Having seen more 1990s daytime talk shows than we care to admit, we're not shocked that young girls like to mix it up. What kind of did amaze us, on the other hand, is how fiercely they fight, especially in comparison to the dudes in these videos.

We mean you see these guys and a few of them are built like Evander Holyfield was back in his Olympian God heyday, and then they throw a punch like Richard Simmons. They bob, they weave, they clench....We guess you could argue that they were boxing properly, à la the Queensberry rules, or you could contend that they were just scared of each other and can't slug their way out of a paper bag.

Check out the slap-fight below at 1:40 and contrast it with the downright frightening girls who follow immediately thereafter...

Girls go directly for the kill. They don't waste any time dancing around, or trying to work the body, or feinting and jabbing -- it's all either haymakers aimed at the head or swipes for handfuls of hair.

And while some of the guys seem to be buddies doing these videos for fun -- in one we saw, the two cousins hug and slap skin at the end of their fight -- that is never the case with the girls, who all seem to want to kill, scalp, blind or maim their foes.

At any rate, you read a lot of alarmist piffle in articles about this phenomenon. Experts are trotted out who gravely inform us that this is something new under the sun, American youth's terrifying descent into uncharted Clockwork Orange purgatory.

Sociologists are wheeled out to blame the recession, babies having babies, poverty, and parental abuse of drugs and alcohol. While those are valid explanations for youth violence, there's nothing new about any of it. There have been hard times before. Teen pregnancy has been a problem for several generations, and people have been getting fucked up and parenting badly since the pre-Stone Age...

So we are not sure if youth culture is actually more violent than it was when we were participating in it. Back in the Oil Bust Houston of our youthful malaise, we more or less routinely witnessed random acts of violence the memories of which still scare the bejesus out of us all these years later.

What has undoubtedly changed is the technology. Now kids can film their combats and easily share them with the world. And so now we adults can see what callous monsters adolescents can be at their worst.

Only a few of us can remember how we were once much the same. No, most of us wouldn't have been in those fights, and many of us would not have stood by and watched, either, but how many of us would honestly have had the white-hat huevos to wade through the throng of jeering onlookers and break them up?

Such an act violates every principle of the schoolyard code, so if you can honestly say you would have, you were a better person than Hair Balls was in his high school daze.

More Beaumont video-brawling madness here.

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Good God. I'm from Nederland but left in '97. Thank God. Every time I visit home it's so depressing. If it weren't for family still there I would never visit. Videos like this reinforce my decision to leave years ago. Way to go Beaumont.

Gaspar Ramsey
Gaspar Ramsey

It is well known amongst educators that all that is required to break up a fight between boys is to step between them, but with the girls, wait until you have backup.The frenzy they develop is entirely directed at their opponent, who has usually "dissed" them, or worse, their boyfriend, and if you restrain one of them, the other will take this as an opportunity to close in for the kill, scratching, clawing, and cursing like Kilarney cats. And the animosity does not end with a fight--sometimes the only way to cool the fireworks is to send them to seperate schools.

Merle Paycheck
Merle Paycheck

Shines can't fight their way out of a brown paper bag.

The only time they are effective is when there are 5 of them and one of them has a gun.

But actual fighting? Bruvas got glass jaws. I learned that shit in 'Nam.

Brittanie Shey
Brittanie Shey

The comments on the daily's story about this range from "ZOMG teh chirrens are so violent" to "Where are their parents?" Meanwhile, America readies for the modern-day Coliseum sport known as the Super Bowl (a game so violent they've had to make up NEW RULES this year regarding how hard you can hit somebody), and the MPAA gives any movie with more that a nipple tweak an R rating whilst car crashes, fist fights, gun use and gore get a family-friendly PG-13.


Our world is made up of all kinds - brainiacs, save the world-ers, stoners, hippies, fogies, nerds, violence doers, violence seekers, morons, bugger eaters, stompers, dancers, lifters, killers...I could go on.

The internet and youtube and so on has just made all these things for readily available for everyone to see. When I was a kid, and wanted to know or research or find out something - I had to A. Ask a grown up and take whatever bullshit answer they gave as gospel. or B. Physically go to a library and sit in front of prehistoric monsters that contained film to flip through. It took time and perseverance to do so. Now, at the flip of a switch, a phone, a laptop ....virtually seconds to retrieve information, videos, sex...anything.

As a whole - we'll go both ways. We'll fall into a world of crazies and rise above it all. It all depends on the shift and balance of one over the other.

Could I have broken up any fight? Hell naw....I'd be tossed aside. It's all so sick how people...from kids to old bums....fight it out like idgettes.


After watching those "fights," I am more concerned with the lack of skill displayed. I hope that none of the individuals talk shit after their displays of a flailing limbs dance. It's comical that anyone would want to admit to fighting like that. I have to say that the women were far more vicious with their skills than the males. Thats no shock.

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