The 10 Most Annoying People You Meet At The Gym
10. The Grunter
He's lifting weights. Big, heavy, manly weights. In case you aren't studying him closely enough, he will grunt like he's giving birth just to attract attention.
9. The person who assumes you'll enjoy sitting in a pool of their sweat
What could all these strange, white, terry-cloth, absorbent, small sheet-type things stacked neatly around the gym be for? I must look into it one of these days. Meanwhile, sorry about that puddle but come on -- you probably dig it.
8. The person with absolutely no sense of space
If your gym attire resembles this, please change
Test: If there are, say, ten open ellipticals, and a person using one at the end of the row, which one should you use? If you answered "the one nearest that other person," you failed the test. And are probably failing at life as well.
7. Old guys who spend way too much time naked in the locker room
As Mike Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 once put it in a reminiscence of his gym-going youth:
The men's locker room at the JCC was notorious for its old, naked Jewish men. These old men would roam the locker room, their wrinkly asses reflecting the ultraviolet light from the bulbs above as their testicles demonstrated the true forces of Earth's gravity.
We're not sure who these guys are trying to impress, but they're not succeeding in they way they hope. We're told a variant of this phenomenon takes place in women's locker rooms but, you know, naked women, what's not to like?
6. A co-worker. While you're both naked
5. The telephone talker
Hey, he or she has to work out, you know, but that doesn't mean the VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT phone call about where he or she plans to watch on TV later has to be delayed. In fact, the rest of the folks at the gym will probably get a bit of a lift getting this glimpse into such a glamorous, busy life.