Halloween Pranks: A Complete 16-Part Guide, By An Expert

Categories: Whatever
They have an egg ban, go goo g'joob
They say that idle hands are the devil's tools, and that line is proven to be true most every weekend while you are a teenager. Growing up I found myself in a strange, marauding gang of girls and boys who lived to pull pranks on stranger's houses, and a handful of friends' dwellings. We got so good at it that some people sought us out for help for band and various club initiations.

Keep in mind, I wasn't party to all of this. Most of these I heard of second-hand from friends growing up reminiscing over beers about our past exploits. Today if someone did this stuff to our own house we would stand outside all night with a cellphone and handgun waiting around like Joe Horn. You get older and somehow things stop being funny. It's kind of bittersweet.

The Halloween season is the prime pranking time. It's just expected. As you get older, you can't get candy or toys anymore on the holiday so you have to find ways to lash out and not go to jail in the process. That's part of the charm, we assume.

You can pull these pranks anytime of the year, and not just the Halloween season. Extra points if you pull some of these during Thanksgiving and Christmas, though. Also, if you are a grown person and you are using this blog for tips, then you probably don't have much to do on those holidays anyhow.

Have fun, don't get caught, and make sure to always deny, deny, deny...

1. Toilet Paper
Use wads of this stuff soaked in water. It acts like papier-mache, and it's hard to get rid of. Don't forget to get it in the storm gutters, so they can clog up and cause even more headaches.

2. Shaving Cream
Writing on cars and houses is the best use for shaving cream. Cryptic messages, suggestive come-ons, whatever suits your fancy.

Nothing says "Halloween" like KY Jelly!
3. KY Jelly
Doorhandles! Be sure to put this under and on all doorhandles. It smells, plus try washing it off. Or explaining why you smell like it later on. If you wanna be really hip, get Astro-Glide.

4. Fruit
It makes a mess, sticky and pulpy. Rotten fruit is the best bet.

5. Sugar
In the grass. It attracts ants for weeks and gets aggravating. We once put two or three pounds in a yard.

6. Flour & Sugar Bombs
Mix flour, water, and sugar to make tiny hand grenades. Same idea as the toilet paper and water. Also attracts bugs and animals.

7. Eggs
Do your worst here. Cars, windows, gutters, Sweet 16 decorations...

8. Bologna
This meat on windows will cook overnight and create havoc in the morning.

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