Five Superheroes Who Need A Makeover More Than Wonder Woman

Categories: Whatever
You might not know this if you don't follow superhero news, or news about dominatrix-type lasso-wielding heroines, but Wonder Woman is getting a new look. Gone are the star-spangled shorts, exchanged for black leather.

Why Wonder Woman? Here are five superheroes in much bigger need of a makeover than her.

1. The Flash


Okay, you're working the lightning-bolt motif here; we don't not love it, but it does bring to mind a bit of the ol' Reddi Kilowatt, maybe? The boots -- where do we begin? Unless the Andrea True Connection is making a comeback, best keep them in the closet. Speaking of being in the closet -- and we're not saying you are, necessarily -- find a way to emphasize the package a bit if you're wanting "More, More, More."

2. Thor

Again with the boots. Again with the winged helmet. Thor, we've got someone we think you'd like to meet.

First off, that belt buckle has to go. We've seen winners at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo sporting more modest stuff.

We're trying to feel where you're going with the whole "big metal buttons" thing, and we just can't get there. Maybe it's a Norwegian deal? Or Denmark, or wherever it is you're from? (No offense, it's just that we're warm-weather people here.)

And we hate to say it, but we have a sneaking suspicion there's a mullet under that helmet. (Love the wristbands, though!!)

3. Batman


Who died, Mr. Black-as-black-can-be? Oh. Your parents. In a brutal murder you had to witness as a child.

Okay then, go with the black. You've earned it. But did you ever think of yellow maybe for the belt? It'd be kicky!! Oh. You have. How about nipples on the suit? Oh.

You really have tried some things, haven't you? That's good. But can we make one teensy little suggestion?

The ears.

Did someone say Beeetches.jpg
They put us in mind of this little guy to the right here, and that can't be a good thing when it comes to instilling terror in the hearts of evil-doers.

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