The Weirdest Astros Videos On The Net, Starring A Drunk Charlie Kerfield And Phil Garner Hawking Burger King
The Houston Astros are like an absentee drunk father who shows up with a teddy bear and pennant race every now and then, but not enough to keep our attention. They go on a winning streak and we think "Well, maybe they are trying to turn over a new leaf." Then they puke on our birthday cake and make out with the clown at the party. We love the drunken bastard, but we aren't about to recommend him for "Father of the Year" or anything.
The Astros are still good for bringing friends and family together, even if by the ninth inning we are all learning new and fabulous curse words from each other when someone blows a save or decides to pitch like its batting practice. We are united in our struggle for eternity.
Even still, as a lifelong Houstonian and a former Astros Buddy, we will still be out in the stands or in a sports bar this year cheering on our boys in, what is it this year? Burnt orange and black? Shit changes too much.
Who knows what this year will bring? Will we at least finish at .500? Will Lance Berkman stay healthy all year? Will our flask of whiskey make it to the fifth inning? How about our new skipper Brad Mills, does he have testicular fortitude to bust some ass and get is into October? Baseball is full of surprises, and sadly, plenty of instances of history repeating itself. We don't want to relive the 1991 season ever again though. Our 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995...
Here are some of the best and funniest Astros videos floating around on YouTube. Where are you Charlie Kerfeld? We got some orange Jell-O around here for ya somewhere...
Musical Chairs With Lance Berkman and Hunter Pence
Tookie Bird! With John Lander
RIP Sister Damian