She (Allegedly) Just Wants To Have Sex With A Hermann Park Statue. The Odd Thing Is, The Statue In Question Is Not Sam Houston
It purports to be a documentary, complete with plummy British narrator, of someone with "object sexuality," a condition where people end up loving the Eiffel Tower or marrying the Berlin Wall.
The woman in the above video loves the Pioneer Memorial in Hermann Park (Motto: "Oh, that's what that thing is called?") She first rubs herself all over to a video of it, then cuddles with it in person.
"I think I just came," she says in excitement as she walks up to it.
And as she sits on it, she mentions how she'd like to have sex with it, telling it "I know you're really big but trust me, I can handle it. If you're gentle." (We're pretty sure the memorial would let her take the lead.)
Spoof, deranged person, or just another day in Hermann Park? We report, you decide.