For The Cold Snap: Bikinis Ain't What They Used To Be, Thank God
But growing up in New Jersey, there was one bright spot to winter: the New York Daily News, which seemingly was forever baffled by the thought that winter in the U.S. is summertime in Australia. So the paper would feature a daily shot of some Aussie woman in a bikini, throwing a beach ball or standing with her hand on her hip.
Each day the caption would be some (very, very slight) variation on "It may be cold here, but it's summer Down Under!" But no one was reading the captions anyway.
So to help you get through the long, cold nights of Houston Winter this week, we're offering our version of the Daily News tradition. Trouble is, the word "bikini" back in the days when the tradition started (it lasted a surprisingly long time) meant something very different than it does now. A look back at the not-so-great days of the bikini:
1. It's a man, baby!!!
3. A side-by-side comparison.
When it's a close call as to whether the man's or woman's swimsuit covers more of the pelvic area, you know you are in a Dark, Dark Age.
4. Answers to stupid questions.
"It's breaking ten feet -- so how come nobody's surfing?" Because they are too damn encumbered by Amish bathing suits that leave everything to the imagination, that's why.