This Week In TV: Oprah to Resign in 2011, World to End Shortly Thereafter
• So, Oprah resigned, but not really, or something. Just to make sure we all have time to prepare our families for the ritualistic murder-suicide pacts, Oprah Winfrey (why did I use her last name?) announced the other day that her current show will end its run at the end of its 25th season, when her contract is up, in September 2011. That's eight months after the launch of OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network, a joint venture between Oprah and Discovery that will rebrand what's currently Discovery Health Channel and reach about 80 million homes. And on that new network, know this: Oprah will have a show. Guaranteed. No one would ever pass up legitimate power, let alone the ability to influence gullible housewives and the mentally handicapped with plugs of bad books and hours devoted to quack science spouted by former Playboy Playmates who have not received any credible medical training. Hell, Oprah's episode with Sarah Palin pulled in the host's highest ratings in two years. You don't walk away from the throne like that, even if it'd be better for us all if she did. Oh well. At least there's Ellen.
• Listen up, Lost fans: The upcoming sixth season -- the show's last -- debuts on February 2. The show will air on Tuesdays for its final run, which yes, is annoying to have to remember. But ABC's having better luck with their Wednesday comedy block than expected, thanks to Modern Family and others, and they don't wanna shake the Jenga tower. Plus Lost has a devoted audience that will happily follow the show to a new night for one last season. So mark your calendars, kids, and get ready.
• Seriously, did you see Palin on Oprah? Probably not, because you've got a job during the day, or if you were at home, you respect yourself too much to have exposed yourself to the poisonous and divisive ramblings of an unstable woman. But I have seen video and read text, and boy, it's insane. Insane. The nutburger isn't even for anything, except doing her best to embody a culture of victimhood that never seems to make sense when it comes from white Protestants. It was stomach-churning.
• I didn't watch the American Music Awards, because I have good taste in music, so don't bother telling me who won.
• How I Met Your Mother is only worth watching for Jason Segel. NPH is still fun, but Segel feels like he's been dropped in from a much funnier show and is looking for a way back. He had a great throwaway line this week about how Barney keeps writing books about getting girls: "Whoa, look it's ... like a ... we got a Stephen King over here." His awkward, faux-confident delivery nailed it. Best moment of the otherwise meh 22 minutes.
• Community is still killing on NBC. Jeff's definitely growing to like his classmates, but the show's not about to become overly sweet. If anything, his growing attachment just makes room for more problems. Plus Troy and Abed are the best buddy team on TV.
Looking ahead to this week: Tonight is the series finale of Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TLC. If you watch that show, please tell me why. There's also Thanksgiving, so enjoy turkey and football on what has to be the least fun day of the year for Native Americans. Go team!