Come On, Avatar: Do Your Aliens Really Have To Be Blue? It's Been Done

Categories: Movies
It's hard to escape the ad campaign for James Cameron's Avatar, much as you'd like to. We've seen the trailer in a theater -- even in a 3-D theater -- and we are...whelmed. Certainly not overwhelmed; not yet ready to declare ourselves completely underwhelmed. We're sure it comes off better as a full movie on its own. (Right? Right?)

We did notice, of course, that the strange characters that are the aliens have blue skin. It's so eerie!! Because humans don't have blue skin!! Blue skin, however, turns out to be not all that unusual. How will the Avatar blue-skins stack up against those who have come before them?

1. Eiffel 65's "I'm Blue"
They bop their heads like it's A Night In Roxbury, to a song that's (unfortunately, for the sake of your sanity) just as catchy as Haddaway's "What is Love." But do they wield scary bows-and-arrows like the blue-ies in Avatar? Doubtful -- the head-bopping would ruin their aim.


2. Yellow Submarine's Blue Meanies
We have never quite been able to sit through more than a few minutes of Yellow Submarine, sad to say -- our tolerance for psychedelia cratered after we were first exposed to "Some Velvet Morning" -- so we went to Wiki, which tells us they are music-hating creatures who try to foil the Beatles from singing. If that included banning George Harrison's sitar-soaked "Love You To," call us a Blue Meanie.

They don't look to be in too good shape, so we're guessing the acrobatic feats in Avatar -- leaping onto dragonfly helicopters, etc -- are well beyond them.


3. Arrested Development's Tobias Funke
He's NOT GAY...got that? So you wouldn't have to worry about any shenanigans or Lady Gaga records on Planet Avatar. On the other hand, his refusal to get naked doesn't seem to fit in with the Avatar-alien dress code.

tobias112409.jpg

4. Watchmen's Dr. Manhattan.
Ol' Doc Manhattan, on the other hand, has no problems swinging his junk into everyone's face. Sitting through this movie was like looking at a Calvin Klein catalog. Wikipedia says "the limits of his powers are unknown." He won a land war in Asia for the U.S., so that's got to be true.


5.The Fifth Element's Diva Plavalaguna
Baby got back, not to mention tentacles. But she's versatile: She can sing pseudo-opera or techno music, whatever you like. She also doesn't mind Bruce Willis digging his paws into her bloody, gaping wound in order to get some magic rocks. Who are we to judge? That might just be a typical Friday night in Fhloston Paradise. But we're still trying to decide who has the worst get-up on top of their head, her or Willis.



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