Halloween Countdown Part 1: The Seven Most Cliched Costumes

Categories: Whatever

Halloween is coming, and that means many, many costuming mistakes will be made by normally sane adults. To help stop this scourge, each Thursday we will be offering tips and analysis of what to avoid, or possibly what to do.

It seems that every year Halloween becomes less and less about scaring other people and more about what current pop-culture reference you can cleverly pull off. One year wearing a Cubs hat and headphones was all the rage after fan Steve Bartman snatched a foul ball from outfielder Moises Alou's glove. It was just last year that the streets were awash with Heath Ledger's Joker. Who can forget the great Borat Flood of 2005? (Something tells us we won't be seeing many Bruno's running around this year after the Sacha Baron Cohen's film about the fictional gay media gadfly tanked at the box office.)

Here's a list of our predictions for 2009's most cliche costumes:

octomom-costume.jpg
Photo courtesy of Play Happy
Octomom

Nadya Suleman -- that's Octomom, to you -- could very well have been created in a secret National Institute of Health laboratory for the sole purpose of inspiring Halloween '09 costumes. We have a feeling Octo-suits will be as proliferate as the IVF-induced issue from her cavernous womb. All you need are some puffy lips, a not-all-there look in your eyes, and at least a few baby dolls tethered to your torso. If you get tired of lugging the plastic passengers around after a while, you can toss 'em in a Dumpster, prom-style, and just tell everyone you're Angelina Jolie.

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Dead Michael Jackson

This almost seems redundant, seeing that the man already looked ghoulish enough in life. In death it's likely that he didn't look much different when you take into account how much plastic he had pumped into his face while he was living. It's as if he was doing some sort of preemptive mortuary work while he was moon-walking on this mortal coil. Rest assured you will see plenty of douchebags and shitpurses up and down Smith and Bagby decked out in red leather jackets and corpse paint. We say if you wanna really be innovative, dress up like Jackson 5-era MJ, or cut off your own damned nose.

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