My Widdle Dog Wote Himself An Op-Ed Cowwum!!
In their initial announcement of their purchase, the new owners said they intended "to ferret out more conservative voices in our [op-ed] columns," so if we had believed they would have stooped to the animal world for writers, it would have been a ferret.
Instead we got this:
My name is Annie Poo. Five years ago I arrived at Fuzzy Friends Rescue as a 6-week-old red poodle puppy weighing two pounds. I was as skinny as uncooked angel hair pasta, I barely knew that newspapers were for housebreaking, and I was just eager to become someone's little love.We're sure it is, Annie Poo.
I was lucky. Someone I know as Miss Bow Wow took me home and introduced me to my prospective daddy. It was love at first sight.
Daily, I sit in queenly fashion up in my daddy's downtown Waco office building, greeting visitors with barks. I enjoy watching them dance about the room as I nip merrily at their shoes or attack their pants legs. That includes the postman, whom I attack as if I were a Doberman.
Lately, though, I've gotten to know the Tribune-Herald, the hometown newspaper that my daddy purchased this summer. It's a bustling place, full of vivid personalities and rich talents, all serving in different ways as -- dare I say it? -- the watchdogs of this community.
That's something a pooch like me can respect and admire.
The stirring conclusion: "This much I know. If I have to wet on a newspaper nowadays, I think twice about doing it on the Trib. Daddy wouldn't be happy."
We can only hope this experiment continues. In terms of op-ed loopiness, it's right up there with the Hearst papers (like the Houston Chronicle) annually printing some old doggerel from William Randolph Hearst. Or running a Michelle Malkin column.