Kendra Wilkinson Is Spawning!

Categories: Pop Rocks
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Of all the girls from The Girls Next Door, I'm really most pleased that it's Kendra who's having a baby with her fiancé, professional football player Hank Baskett. (Apparently, Hugh Hefner teared up when he heard the news that his little girl was all growed up.)

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I'm so glad that it's Kendra who is spawning because the world needs more geniuses walking around, you know? I mean, when you look back on the episodes of Girls you really realize that Kendra was the genius of the bunch. Oh sure, you're laughing at me for saying that, what with Kendra's inability to pronounce three-syllable words, but hear me out.

Holly Madison was a calculating little witch who tried her mightiest to get as much Playboy power as she could, but when she realized Hef's sperm just couldn't make one more go, she gave up. Now that's smart, but it's not Kendra-smart. Because what does she have now? Bad ankles from her time on Dancing With the Stars and a couple of old pairs of Criss Angel's underpants. And dear old Bridget, what can we say of her intellectual ability? Now she's got that master's degree, but is she really putting it to good use as the host of the hard-hitting journalistic expose, Bridget's Sexist Beaches? I mean, granted, it must take some smarts to determine which beach is, in fact, the sexiest, but, still...I think Bridget could be using a few more of her neurons.

No, Kendra is definitely the smartest. As a barely legal teen, she was smart enough to hook up with an old man for a few years and live off his largesse in exchange for a few icky baby oil rubdowns, thus avoiding her career as a third-rate topless dancer in a joint off the freeway. And then, just when that gig was up, she was smart enough to hook up with a well-paid professional athlete and secure her future by having his baby.

Now it may not be Yale material, but I suppose on some level, that is smart.

Sigh....

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