Let's Jump To Conclusions About That Bellaire Cop

Categories: Courts, Crime

bellairecop.jpg
Photo courtesy HCSO
Bellaire police officer Jeff Cotton, who was indicted for shooting Robert Tolan, insists he's not someone who indulges in racial profiling.

Well, he doesn't insist. Nor does his attorney. Instead, a spokesman for his attorney insists, to the Houston Chronicle, that he's no profiler.

Just because he shot an unarmed black guy who was allegedly making a fuss in his own driveway does not mean Cotton is a racial profiler, If it had been the kind of soccer mom endemic to Bellaire putting up such a fuss after a pointless pull-over by a police cruiser, she'd have had two to the chest too. Her SUV, complete with rear-window decals honoring Tyler and Conor's Little League careers, would have been splattered with blood just as much as Tolan's.

So Cotton's not a profiler. But let's go ahead and judge him, based strictly on his mugshot.

First, obviously, is the lame mustache. Dude, you either grow a mustache or you don't. Otherwise, you look like the kind of hotheaded guy who's going to be getting in fights at the drop of a hat, mostly because of inferiority issues stemming from the inability to grow a mustache (See? It's easy to generalize!). 

 

Then there's the neck. Did someone say steroids? Not us, to be sure. That would be a case of jumping to conclusions.

And then there's the hair. Whitewalls on the side, damn near a brushcut on top. This is the hairdo of someone who will walk into a tense situation and seek to defuse it through talking it out rather than just acting rashly.

We could be wrong about all this, of course. We're just going by how someone looks.


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