Oh Noes!! Mickey Rourke Drops Out Of Wrestlemania!! (Danny Bonaduce Still Available, Though)
Ike hit. The Texans missed the playoffs. And now -- most crushingly of all -- comes news that Mickey Rourke won't be coming to Wrestlemania after all.
Of course, this being professional wrestling, things may change a half-dozen times before the event. Still, a Rourke spokesman managed to keep a straight face when she announced that the star of The Wrestler "is focusing entirely on his acting career." (Such as it is.)
The charm of Wrestlemania has long eluded us, so we can't claim to understand just how horrendous this news is.
But fans of poorly staged fights can, we hope, find some solace in the fact that the spectacle will still go on as scheduled.
Our only wish is that -- somehow -- the Chronicle's Ken Hoffman will find a way to keep readers posted on all this. We're sure he won't let us down.
-- Richard Connelly