Oprah, Shut Up

Categories: Pop Rocks

Oh, did you hear? Oprah's 200 pounds again.

So fucking what?

Here is a woman who is easily one of the most powerful people on Earth, and all we (and she) have been talking about for the last week is the fact that she's reached 200 pounds again.

I repeat: So fucking what?

Sorry for all the swearing, mom, but this story really has me pulling my hair out, plus I'm having a hard time living my best life now and remembering my spirit when all everyone is talking about is how fat Oprah is.

You know, yeah, she's overweight. And yeah, obesity is a problem in this country. But I wouldn't exactly put her in the same category as the people on those TLC shows who can't fit through their bedroom doors, you know?

If Oprah were a man (you knew I was gonna go there, didn't you?)...well if Oprah were a man, do you think we would be caring for five freaking seconds that her weight went up again? Do you think he would care? (Well, maybe he would, but I can be damn sure that he wouldn't put his own weight gain on the cover of his own magazine and feel like he had to explain it to the world.)

Oprah has succeeded in creating a multimillion dollar enterprise based on her identity as a vivacious, funny, intelligent person with a shitload of charisma, not to mention the fact that she has dumped tons of her own money into humanitarian causes around the globe and here at home. End of story. Now can we please stop talking about her fucking weight. - Jennifer Mathieu


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