Kidz Korner: How To Deal With Your Drunk Parent Telling You How "Hishtoric" Obama's Victory Is
You youngsters out there -- be you 15, be you 8 -- are going to have to deal with some issues tonight. You'll be thinking it's a typical Tuesday, and you'll be pounding the Xbox in lieu of doing homework, no biggie fries.
At some point tonight (again, we're assuming Dewey Beats Truman), you will be dragged into the living room, where a celebrating parent will try to instill into you why this is so important. (Some of you may not have realized there's an election going on, so it might take some time to sink in.)
Kids have dealt with this for years. (See: Berlin Wall. Or this scenario -- "Man is on the moon, son!! It's unbelievable!" "Umm, yeah. OK. This is like the 20th Apollo mission already. Can I go to bed now?")
So sometime tonight you'll hear "Thish ish hishtory, dammit! Come out and watch!! Obama has won!!"
"Yeah, pops. He's kind of been leading in the polls since, like, March."
"But he's black!!"
"Yeah, he's been black for a while, too."
"And he's going to be president!!"
"That's usually what happens when you win the election, dude. Can I go now?"
Repeat ad infinitum.
Kids, your parents grew up in a world where a black guy being president seemed a Very Big Deal. You, not so much.
That's progress, we suppose. But if things work out like the polls say, try to forgive your parents for seeming a little strange on the issue.
-- Richard Connelly