The Osteen Trial: World's Worst PowerPoint

The Osteen case is finally in the hands of the jury, 12 noble and true citizens of Harris County who had to sit through days of sometimes mind-numbing testimony.

There was one last bit of torture this morning, though -- Reginald McKamie, attorney for flight attendant Sharon Brown, gave a bizarre, baffling and unintentionally hilarious closing statement.

One that included pictures.

McKamie used a projector to show clip art of a hammer and a nail. This was to illustrate that Victoria Osteen was "the hammer," and normal people were "the nail."

He showed a picture of a ruler. This is was to show that he had a "good yardstick" to determine that Brown should get $400,000 in damages.

He talked about a Van Gogh picture. This was to show that he was entirely out of ideas. Although what he told the jury was that the picture had recently sold for $52 million, and was done by "an imperfect man."

"We are asking for just a fraction of one percent of the worth of a painting by an imperfect man -- how much is dignity worth to you?" he asked the jury, which somehow didn't collapse in giggles. [Update: There was some miscommunication putting the original version of this item together; the actual quote was "Isn't a person's dignity...worth a half of a percent...of a painting by an imperfect man?"]

Rusty Hardin then got up and said "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury -- aw, fuck it; I can't make you any more in my favor than that guy just did." Or at least that's what he should have said.

No word on whether the jury will break for lunch or just get the thing over with quickly.

-- Craig Malisow and Richard Connelly



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