College Presidents To Freshmen: Get Your Beer On!

Categories: Education
Finally, college presidents do something every student can endorse -- they're fighting to lower the drinking age to 18.

Something called the Amethyst Institute, obviously named by a drunk 18-year-old, has gotten more than 100 college presidents -- including those from Duke, Ohio State, Dartmouth and Whittier -- to sign a statement calling for the drinking age to be lowered.

Why?

Because they want to get laid, and they all look like college presidents. No sorority sister is giving it up for a 55-year-old dude with glasses unless she's got six Natty Lights and some jaegermeister in her.

Actually, the presidents boringly contend, lowering the age would reduce binge drinking and contempt for a law that is routinely ignored.

In case you're wondering, no local presidents signed the document. The only Texan we could find was J. Patrick O’Brien of Texas A & M University-West Texas.

And with a name like J. Patrick O'Brien, of course you're gonna be endorsing drinking. Slainte!

-- Richard Connelly



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