Strange Wikipedia Searches I Have Done

Categories: Pop Rocks

Like some kind of nefarious street drug, Wikipedia courses through this addict’s veins, sucking up productive time and turning it into Wikipedia Crack time.

You know what I mean. You meander over to Wikipedia to innocently look up some information about, say, the woman who wrote the novel “Bridge to Terabithia,” and three hours later you’re reading the biography of Miami Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino (honestly) and it’s 2 o’clock in the damn morning and you’ve got dried drool on your chin. It’s those silly little links that suck you in, especially if you’re an overly inquisitive person and a lover of all things trivial such as Miss Pop Rocks. Wikipedia knows you can’t resist reading and clicking and reading and clicking and reading and clicking and cluttering your brain with even more useless knowledge.

So, in an attempt to slow down this problem, I’ve forced myself to write down some of my latest Wikipedia search chains to document my idiocy and time wasted. They are all 100 percent for real.

Dolly Parton to Karl Marx in Six Easy Steps
Dolly Parton
Skeeter Davis
Winona Ryder
Karl Marx

Flashdance to Sodomy Laws in Eight Easy Steps
blue-collar worker
Mary Lou Retton
Gay Games
sodomy laws

Red Dawn to Toni Morrison in Four Easy Steps
Red Dawn
San Ysidro McDonald’s massacre
Dead Milkmen
Toni Morrison

Saved by the Bell to Tasmanian Aborigines in Three Easy Steps
Saved by the Bell
Kelly Kapowski
Tasmanian Aborigines

Cap’n Jazz to Milton Friedman in Five Easy Steps
Cap’n Jazz
price gouging
Milton Friedman

I don’t know what any of these searches say about me, but they’re kinda weird, don’t you think? Make me feel better and share below where your Wikipedia journey has taken you. – Jennifer Mathieu

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