My Daddy Died…Now Give Me Hannah Montana Tickets, Damn It!

Categories: Pop Rocks
Okay, so now’s the time when someone explains to me two things: 1) Why the Hell is the tween set so captivated by the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus? and 2) What kind of a world do we live in when a mother helps her daughter fake an essay about a dead dad (who does not exist) only to get concert tickets to see aforementioned daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus?

Right here in our home state, a Garland mother knowingly allowed her 6-year-old daughter to submit an essay to a contest that would award the winner tickets to a Hannah Montana concert. Not only did the child write about a dead dad who was not, in fact, six feet under, she described his death as having taken place in a horrific roadside bombing in Iraq. Yes, that’s right. Our little angel pulled out the “my dead daddy was a patriot” trump card.

Now, Miss Pop Rocks is not so cynical as to think the kid had anything to do with this. The girl’s mother, Priscilla Ceballos, was quoted in an article by The Associated Press as saying, “We did the essay and that’s what we did to win. We did whatever we could do to win.”

Gee, I wonder what other lessons this mother has taught her daughter.

“Now honey, I’m sure that’s not a person we ran over. It was probably a log, or some garbage. We’re just going to keep on driving.”

“Sweetheart, now that you’re running for kindergarten class president, it’s high time Mommy showed you how to stuff your first ballot box.”

“Baby Angel, could you go and knock over that display rack while Mommy shoves these Jimmy Choos into her handbag?”

I mean, honestly. It’s not often that Miss Pop Rocks gets on her high horse (I’m usually too buzzed to climb up there), but this time I have no problem getting all righteous with my indignation. That mother should be ashamed of herself. Not only is she teaching her child that lying and cheating are all right, she’s leading her to believe that Hannah Montana is music worth lying and cheating for! And that just ain’t right, y’all.

--Jennifer Mathieu


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