In Search of the Robert Durst Candy at CVS

Categories: Crime, Whatever

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Photo by Aaron Reiss
CVS's new shelving is Robert Durst-proof.
Robert Durst did it again. That was the news Monday night and Tuesday morning after it was revealed that the millionaire who was acquitted of a Galveston murder had allegedly peed on candy at a Kirby CVS.

Groundbreaking stuff, we know.

Harris County District Attorney's Office spokesman Jeff McShan told Hair Balls the office charged Durst with criminal mischief, a Class B misdemeanor. The real question we had, though, was one that neither McShan nor ABC13 reporter Jessica Willey, who broke the story, could answer: What happened to the candy Durst supposedly peed on?


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Why I Liked Being Jewish at an All-Boys Catholic School

Categories: Religion, Whatever

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Photo courtesy of Aaron Reiss

The locker my freshman year at St. Thomas High School was on the second floor of the main building, 50 feet from a chapel where Mass was celebrated before every school day. The walls along the hallways were filled, floor-to-ceiling, with lockers. Freshmen got the lower ones. I had to get on my knees to get my books out of my creaky, cream-gray locker.

Next to me was a kid named Jack Reidy. He was one of those guys who went through puberty in sixth grade and dominated the middle school athletics scene.

Everyday, I'd squat down to access my locker and have to shift my weight as Jack's huge ass blocked part of my locker. I didn't say anything about it to him for the first couple months of school because he was massive, and if sitcoms were anything like real high school, he would have kicked my ass.

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8 Unsung Beauties of the 2014 Houston World Series of Dog Shows

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Maha Ahmed
The annual Houston World Series of Dog Shows happened this past weekend from Wednesday through Sunday.

Hair Balls decided to get in on the action and give some pups a chance to take a break from the high-stress competitions. We asked their owners to tell us about their lives outside of grooming and showing.

These 8 "aww"-inducing creatures are more than just show dogs. They are the unsung beauties of Texas.

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Dwight Howard Tweets #FreePalestine, Then Takes It Back When He Gets Shelled

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Twitter

Rockets center Dwight Howard upset a lot of his fans this weekend with his tweeting #FreePalestine, and then deleting it a few minutes later.

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"New and Improved" Millennial Cover Letter Not Really New or Improved

Categories: Whatever

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Says it all.
Getting a job is tough. There is the endless searching of job websites for the right gig, preparing résumés and then the god-awful interview process. Hopefully, the end result is a well-paying job where you can be somewhat satisfied with the hours spent there every week. Everyone agrees that when you're trying to land a job, first impressions go a long way. That means the people who are tasked with sorting through résumés and cover letters need to be impressed enough to pass your information along to people in charge. There is an entire industry filled with people and resources for doing nothing but writing cover letters and organizing résumés, it's such a big deal.

But what if you're a young millennial just looking to score a position and make your way in this world? You don't want to write some plain Jane cover letter that doesn't express just how awesome you are. You want your cover letter to be like a perfect selfie that de-emphasizes the baby fat under your chin, makes your eyes look like those of an anime character and shows enough smile to be friendly but not so much that the person thinks you are from anywhere other than Brooklyn or Portland. How to accomplish such a feat? Fortunately for you, hipster, you have someone named Kat Stromquist to come to your rescue.

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Elbert Shawn Rice: The Strange, Twisted Saga of a Failed Bird Scammer

Categories: Whatever

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Facebook screenshot.
Houston, we have a d-bag. (Shawn Rice, above; Michael Acosta, seated).
On June 23, Sharon Wells-Markland, who runs an exotic bird sanctuary in Montgomery County, found an uplifting e-mail in her inbox: A man contacted her about a lost macaw that Wells and three other women had rescued earlier that month.

The man was referred to Wells-Markland after spotting a picture of the bird on the Houston SPCA's found animals site. He identified himself as Shawn Rice, and he said the bird -- "Lucy" -- belonged to his mother, who was in Kentucky tending to her recently deceased mother's estate. He claimed his parents' home in Spring had been broken into, and that's how the bird got out. He said he wanted to pick up the bird, which is only worth about $500, according to one of the bird experts who got caught up in these events.

Wells-Markland had no way of knowing at the time that the man was a fugitive from Kentucky who would ultimately threaten to sue her and call the cops on her. Once Hair Balls got involved, Rice threatened to call the cops on us. He claimed to belong to a prominent, influential Houston family. He claimed to have a mutual friend who knew an executive with our parent company. The dude, it turned out, was straight-up weird. A bunch of people recently had to endure his incessant bullshit, and we would like you to do the same.



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Houston Mosque Will Ball Hard for Palestine

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Photo provided by Amir Hossain
Hossain translates his 16 year passion for basketball into humanitarian aid

In case you didn't know, Houston is home to one of the largest Muslim populations in the country and the city is home to a network of mosques and religious centers run by the Islamic Society of Greater Houston.

Houstonian Amir Hossain is part of this American-Muslim community. He wants to use his love for basketball to build unity and support a cause that helps people in the Middle East.

During the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, Hossain is kicking off a charity basketball tournament called Hoop4Palestine. "Basketball teaches Islam in its own creative way by promoting companionship," Hossain said. "[It allows] kids to learn how to work together in a peaceful manner to achieve something."

Muslims around the city are currently participating in the holy month of Ramadan, fasting from sunrise to sundown every day until the end of July.

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Houstonia Posts (Then Disappears) City Map Showing Where "Aspiring Mexicans" and "Pretentious White People" Live

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Photo from judgmentalmaps.com

If you think you know where "aspiring Mexicans," "black people who like trains" and "pretentious white people" live in Houston, then Houstonia Magazine had the right map for you.

The magazine posted a "Judgmental Map of Houston" on its Facebook account today before quickly taking it down.

We called Houstonia to make sure that the screenshot of the post, sent to us by a reader, wasn't Photoshopped. Katharine Shilcutt, Houstonia's features editor, head social media person and former Houston Press food critic, confirmed that the screenshot was accurate.

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Texas Pretty Uptight, Study Shows

Categories: Texas, Whatever

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Photo by Stuart Langridge

We love Texas and all, but damn, can it be uptight -- at least according to research.

A recent study by psychology researchers at the University of Maryland-College Park ranked all 50 states (sorry, D.C.) by how uptight or loose they are when it came to enforcing rules and tolerating deviance. Texas came in as sixth most uptight.

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When Tweeting Goes Bad: Mocking #Jadapose Hashtag Spreads on Twitter

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Screenshot from twitter.com

A 16-year-old girl named Jada gave KHOU an interview Tuesday night about an alleged rape that went viral on social media.

According to the teen she got raped at a party and then people began talking about it and sharing pictures on social media. Police are still investigating the incident, according to KHOU.

Now, a hashtag and meme mocking her is being used. It's called #jadapose, and some people are posting photos of them lying on the ground like Jada was after she says she was raped.

"There's no point in hiding," she said in the interview. "Everybody has already seen my face and my body, but that's not what I am and who I am."


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