Ein volk, ein Reich, ein FEMA.

​Desecrating the name of Adolf, a man named Patrick Adolf Prendergast Jr. has been convicted of ripping off FEMA in the wake of Hurricane Ike, the U.S. Attorney's Office has announced.

And his parents had such high hopes for him when they gave him his middle name.

Prendergast, 54, was convicted of receiving $14,000 from FEMA for repairing an Ike-damaged home he didn't own, and of getting another $75,000 from the Community Development Block Grant to remodel the home.

The home actually belonged to his mother, so maybe it was revenge for the whole "Adolf" thing.

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​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them.

So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even.

This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit, clarity and whatever else we feel like at the moment.

We polled readers on whether they'd be willing to accept a tropical storm or hurricane in order to help end the drought.

Some were hesitant to take their chances with the tropical storm, and one reader vividly explained why.

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One of the reliable forecast models showing Nate hitting Mexico, leaving us high and dry.

​I'm not much of a betting man, but if I were, I would take odds that the Texas coast, and Houston specifically, will see no hurricane landfalls in 2011. We have a pretty substantial tropical storm in Nate meandering around the Bay of Campeche at the moment with forecast models still stumbling all over themselves trying to figure out where the hell it is going to go, but I feel confident in saying: It ain't coming here.

Now, let me say that we all should continue to remain prepared for anything. Hurricanes are unpredictable and I don't have a meteorological crystal ball (though how freaking awesome would that be?). But, the unique weather patterns that have brought us heat, drought and dry air persist and show no signs of letting up over the next two weeks. Assuming Nate doesn't defy the laws of science, consider the high pressure we have come to hate this summer to be our force field against looming storms in the Gulf.

Tropical Storm Nate will no doubt be a hurricane by this weekend and the longer it continues over the warm waters of the Gulf, the more likely it will be a major hurricane. How long that will be and where he will ultimately end up won't be known for a few days, perhaps even a week, but that high pressure sitting over us is only forecast to strengthen and perhaps even move east into the Gulf, blocking Nate's path to the north and forcing him back to Mexico.

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Sad drought makes The Boss sad.

​With apologies to Bruce Springsteen for a weak attempt at borrowing his album title, the truth is our weather has been about as crazy and out of control as a three-hour rock show, except instead of booming speakers, girls flashing the stage and a ring of pot smoke hanging over the arena, we have tropical storms, ultra-dry air and the haze of wildfire smoke hanging over central Texas.

Unfortunately, there appears to be little relief from the former in an effort to eliminate the latter over the next few weeks. Mixed in with that bad news is also some good news in the form of cooler weather, but there are many of us who would trade a few more weeks of heat for some much-needed rain.

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Preach it, Neil.

​Traditionally, Labor Day signals an end to summer. In Houston, the only real indication that summer is over is noticeably quieter malls on weekdays as kids are back in school. But, around here, it takes about another month before we start to feel the sweet relief of autumn cool fronts.

In fact, the period beginning the last week of August and concluding the last week of September is about the most hellish, godforsaken time to be a Houstonian, at least in terms of weather. Hurricane season peaks September 10 and, for all intents and purposes in Texas, comes to an end around September 27 thanks to the first cool fronts (yeah, you heard us!) finally, mercifully reaching our region.

Until then, we have to spend a little more time racing from air conditioning unit to air conditioning unit in the only effective maneuver in the fight against perspiration short of having your sweat glands removed. If we are lucky, we get to go to Home Depot and buy up plywood for a lurking hurricane. Yippee!

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Say hello to my little friend.

​Irene is shaping up to be the biggest hurricane event to hit the New York area in a while, and since we grew up there, we know people are not used to dealing with these things.

There's a lot that can go wrong in a hurricane, of course: death, widespread destruction, flooding. But there are other things that aren't as obvious, and folks in the area should worry about them, too, because why not have more things to worry about?

So here are five additional things to give you agita:

5. A rat stampede is unleashed
If the subways flood, the innumerable rats that live in the system are heading for higher ground, and that means more interaction with people. Fun!

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Hurricane Irene, comin' atcha.

​Hurricane Irene, if some computer models are to be believed, is headed as a major storm into the New York/New England area.

They're not real used to hurricanes up there, but here in Houston we deal with tropical-storm fever all the time.

Here are some tips and guides.

First, as TV coverage intensifies, be sure to play our Hurricane Bingo game. Fill in the squares as TV folks interview people buying plywood about how they're buying plywood and other wonderful staples of looming-hurricane coverage.

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Is that a cone of uncertainty in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

​As we thought, the forecast models, using the data from the National Hurricane Center reconnaissance aircraft came into fairly good agreement last night on the track of Tropical Storm Don and, unfortunately, it doesn't bode well for rain chances in the Houston area.

Don is tracking to the west-northwest and moving along at a pretty good clip south of a large ridge of high pressure. It's a very small storm, which makes it much more vulnerable to wind shear and more difficult to predict in terms of how big it will get. None of the intensity models forecast Don will be a hurricane before making landfall somewhere along the Texas coast.

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Courtesy National Hurricane Center

Little Donnie is getting bigger.

​The National Hurricane Center reconnaissance plane found winds strong enough in Invest 90 to declare it the fourth tropical depression tropical storm of the 2011 hurricane season -- their next full report is at 6 p.m. As we mentioned in our most recent post, most forecasts continue to call for moderate strengthening as it traverses the Gulf of Mexico and eventually makes landfall somewhere along the coast of Texas.

At this point, the consensus is that Don will not likely strengthen beyond tropical storm strength. Most forecast models are predicting it will make landfall within about 48 hours as a moderate tropical storm.

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Courtesy Weather Underground

See that little cloud mass by the Yucatan Peninsula...that's our boy!

​Remember a couple weeks ago when I told you that just because it had been quiet in the tropics, that didn't mean it would stay that way? Well, I hate to say I told you so.

A disturbance that will likely be upgraded to tropical storm status later today by the National Hurricane Center has Texas in its sights if the forecast models are to be believed. Now, Texas has a massive coastline and we are still three to four days out from a potential landfall, but any strike along the upper Texas coast means precipitation for a rain-starved area, but, like any tropical disturbance, that can be a mixed blessing.

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