You thought the only action you were going to see at George Bush Intercontinental Airport was from that one airport security guard who always gets a little handsy in the pat-downs, but you've got another think coming. Turns out, if you're looking to get a little lovin', IAH is the place to go, specifically Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen in terminal E, according to a study from the folks at MeetAtTheAirport.com.

In fact, the airport (ahem) dating Web site -- which touts airports as the place to go to "meet new and exciting people while you wait for your flight" -- conducted a study among its users ranking the best places to "connect" (a.k.a. knock boots in an airport bathroom stall while keeping an eye out to make sure your luggage doesn't get swiped.)

Among the top five, ranked just below The Encounter at LAX, Vino Volo Restaurant at Washington Dulles Airport and the Salt Lick at Austin-Bergstrom, was Houston's very own Pappadeaux's (located next to gate E3 for those who really want to know.) That's right, Houston. We're in the big time now as far as airport hookup spots are concerned. Also, we totally beat out Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, which came in at No. 5, and let's face it, we're all proud that DFW isn't even on the list. Fun fact: A hookup in terminal E has an added bonus of possibilities since both domestic and international flights run out of there. You could be meeting some mysterious stranger from Idaho, or he or she could be from someplace way more fun like Brazil.

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This is how Washington searched for WMDs, and how it lost a generation.

Every day after baseball practice, my Dad picked me up. Still clad in my dirt-stained pants, still too young to have a full appreciation for deodorant, I would toss my bookbags and gear in the back of our Volvo and jump in the front seat with him. He'd ask how practice was, and I'd tell him about the double play Alex and I turned, about the two singles I hit in the scrimmage. It was fun, I'd say. He'd nod, and he'd drive, and as we'd round the final sublets before swinging onto the freeway, I'd turn to him and ask if today was the day the US had found Saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

It was 2003. I was a freshman in high school. This was our routine, my father and I. I'd drop sweat across the infield, bunch my baseball socks into the lowest and smelliest confines of my bag, and, early in the ride back, ask my father if we'd yet discovered Iraq's stores of anthrax and smallpox and ricin. I would ask my dad, days upon weeks upon an eventual season, whether or not the hunt was over. Whether we'd found the reason we were there.

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American, Mexican, and Guatemalan exceptionalism.

We've known for some time that the American Constitution, that yellowed document containing all our inalienable and God-given rights, was a special slip of parchment. The first of its kind, we've been told. The example. The lodestar. The exceptional.

But recent research, publicized last week in Bloomberg, has helped shed light on how truly exceptional our founding document remains. Through the work of University of Texas Government Associate Professor Zachary Elkins and a pair of colleagues, we now know that the United States Constitution is one of only three national constitutions, out of approximately 200 extant, that guarantees the right to a personal firearm.

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There were some that said it couldn't be done. There were some that said that Jonestown - after the cyanide and the suicide and the doctor from Houston who helped provide both - had turned cults passé, and tired, and pointless. Cults had had their time. They flamed out, in spectacular fashion, and it was time to move forward.

Sure, Heaven's Gate, Aum Shinrikyo, and Scientologists have all attempted to resurrect the myth and marketing of the cult. Branch Davidians even offered a bit of local fare. But none have landed the lasting emphasis of Mr. Jones and his Kool-Aid Gang.

Fortunately, news out of Nuevo Laredo may yet shake cultists from their doldrums. There's no Kool-Aid - or "Flavor Aid," if you're a stickler for historical accuracy - involved, but a combination of Jesus, sex slaves, and something called "bio-programming" may yet bring the cult back into the vogue it once enjoyed.

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And stop calling me Shirley.

I was driving out to Bush Intercontinental Airport one night last week and noticed those really odd lit displays that sit at the entrance to the area on JFK Boulevard, and I wondered why exactly the lights were moving the way they were. Then I realized they were supposed to be simulating fireworks, which brought me to my next thought, which was, "Is it a great idea to show people simulated explosives on their way to the airport?"

Well, if that art isn't really your speed, no worries because both airports are sporting some new flava this holiday season. According to a release from the City of Houston, nearly two and a half million people will pass through Bush and Hobby airports between December 16 and January 4 and they'll get to feast their weary eyes on ten new art pieces installed in the Hobby lobby (HA HA!).

But if you really don't care about the damn artwork and you just want to get on your plane and get the hell outta here (or get off your plane and get the hell backa here), they offer some tips for streamlining your airport experience and links to help you through.

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People do a lot of traveling during the holidays. From Thanksgiving through the beginning of the New Year, the airports are packed with people going home to see their families or just trying to get home where they left their eight-year-old boy alone to fend for himself and set up elaborate booby traps for would-be robbers. It's crazy!

Planes are a very convenient way to travel, obviously, but they are often cramped -- unless you're sitting in first class, big spender -- and filled with all sorts of annoyances. For the sake of your fellow passengers, if you get on a plane, you should follow some unwritten rules. We all know not to make jokes about bombs, and I recommend against drinking so much you puke on the pilot as you get off the plane.

These are simpler, easy-to-follow rules that will make traveling a lot nicer for everyone.

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Spirit Airlines, an ultra-low-fare airline based in Florida, announced it will begin daily nonstop flights between Orlando and Houston on Valentine's Day this year. Hair Balls did a quick check of the cost for a round-trip ticket to Orlando in February and found a fare of $118.79. By comparison, the same ticket on Southwest using its Wanna Get Away fare was $166.

If you are feeling like taking the clan to Disney World, don't bother with the Wagon Queen Family Truckster and that awful smell coming from the back seat. You're safer taking a flight, especially so you don't get suckered into hauling dear old Aunt Edna with you.

Spirit also offers nonstop service to Chicago, Dallas and Las Vegas from Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

So, hop on a flight there, Rusty, and don't leave the dog tied to the bumper.

Marc Brubaker

Louis Aulbach, John Rich and Linda Gorski look at a hand-drawn map of the area. See more pictures of the ruins and hike in our slideshow.

A hidden part of Houston history resides in the underbrush at Memorial Park, and every year a group of amateur urban archeologists sets out to see as much of it as they can find. Yesterday, the group, led by Louis Aulbach, found the foundation of latrines and bathhouses built in 1917 for the 130th Infantry at Camp Logan, the World War I-era Army training facility after which Memorial Park is named.

Aulbach is a publisher of Texas River Guides and has a personal website that is an excellent resource for stories about Houston's history. The group was joined by Aulbach's writing and research consultant Linda Gorski and J.R. Gonzales, who writes the Houston Chronicle blog Bayou City History, plus a handful of history buffs.

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Flickr photo by mlhradio

Stonehenge II, the worse-for-the-wear roadside attraction Texas Traveler visited early last year, is getting a new home and a new coat of paint, thanks to a local arts organization.

The replica, two-thirds the size of the prehistoric original, was built in a corn field skirting the Guadalupe River just outside the small town of Hunt by neighbors Al Shepperd and Doug Hill. Hill, a contractor, had finished building a patio on his property when he was left with a single, large slab of limestone he offered to Shepperd. Shepperd, oddly, decided to stand the slab upright in the middle of his land. It reminded him of Stonehenge, so he soon set about, with Hill's help, to create other pieces made out of plaster to complete the monument.

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The Cup is over, the king has moved, and I replaced the C in "circle" with the Z from "zucchini." This was the week in TV Land:

• Nominations for the 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards were announced last week, and befitting an industry built on low standards and an organization dedicated to filling a room with stars to generate higher ad buys, the nominations themselves were a typical mix of the awful and the absurd. The outstanding comedy series category overlooked Community (which cruelly missed out but once again gave noms to 30 Rock and The Office, despite the former's generally weak season and the latter's complete inability to generate laughs. Glee was also recognized in the category (the show led all series comers with 19 noms, though HBO's The Pacific received a staggering and maybe not merited 24), but its unevenness and decreasing watchability make that a hard pill to swallow. Similarly, Justified and Friday Night Lights were shut out of the drama series category, though Lost got an attaboy nom for wrapping up its series with a wildly divisive finale that's only gotten worse in retrospect. And is it even worth giving an award for best reality competition show? Isn't that just saying, "This was the least grating reality series we could find"?

That said, there were some pleasant inclusions. The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien was nominated for outstanding variety, music, or comedy series, while Jay Leno's version of the show was shut out. It was also nice to see Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, who've been doing award-worthy work on Friday Night Lights since 2006, finally get nominated for their performances. And though Parks and Recreation unfortunately didn't get many noms, at least Amy Poehler is up for best actress in a comedy series. Small victories, folks.

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