Ye olde pleasure piere and shoppes

​Fun magnate Tilman Fertitta unveiled his plans today for turning the old Flagship Hotel pier in Galveston into a -- wait for it -- a "world-class amusement park for all ages."

Scheduled to open in May, the project will look (and cost) a whole lot like the Kemah Boardwalk, another Fertitta property, but will have a more "nostalgic" feel.

More >>

Step right up.

​In these tough economic times, there's no greater financial plan than putting your money into a game where the odds of winning are relatively microscopic.

Right?

Apparently that's what a lot of Texans think: This year, for the first time in ten years, there has been an increase in people playing the Texas Lottery, which is otherwise known as the tax on the mathematically challenged.

"The takeaway from this year's survey is that participation is up quite a bit, but average monthly spending per person is down," said Jim Granato of the University of Houston's Hobby Center for Public Policy, which conducted the legally mandated annual survey.

More >>

how-to-draw-funny-cartoons.com

This East Texas donkey's escape from his pasture was tragically brief.

​By the time the dust had settled Tuesday afternoon on the two-truck, one-animal wreck on FM 1005 near the Deep East Texas hamlet of Mount Union, a 97-year-old man would be hospitalized, a donkey would be dead, and a logging truck and a 1989 Dodge pick-up truck would be damaged.

According to KJAS, it all started when an AT&T lineman entered a pasture in order to access a cellphone tower. Sadly, and tragically, before he could close the gate, a donkey escaped and wandered into the road.

Headed south down the highway there came a logging truck driven by Tammy Jenkins of Silsbee. Jenkins saw the ass in time to slam on the brakes and avoid a collision. Not as fortunate was 97-year-old Preston Booker, who was in his 22-year-old truck and headed towards his home in nearby Magnolia Springs.

More >>

If only it were.

​It's been about three weeks since the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department put out a frantic call for donations to make up for a $4.6 million budget shortfall caused by the drought.

How are they doing?

At first glance, it seems okay -- $335,000 has been raised, TPWD says. But that includes a single donation of $250,000, so the rest of Texas needs to pick up the pace by at least visiting state parks.

TPWD says it's happy with how the effort is going, though.

"We are tremendously encouraged and very grateful that we've received upwards of $335,000 in barely three weeks, with steady donations continuing to come in," said Carter Smith, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department executive director.

More >>

James Hosty: The man who didn't stop Oswald.

​Texas gives to the world, and eventually the people who do the giving die. Such was the case in 2011, when at least nine notable Texans joined the Choir Invisible, the Great Majority, the dead.

Without them, there would no Weed-Eaters, and perhaps the greatest college football/politician scandal ever wouldn't have happened; JFK conspiracists would have much less to chew on and Texas birders would be bereft of a beloved collection of paintings.

Here are nine Texans who made a mark on the world before leaving it this year.

9. James Hosty
James Hosty is the FBI agent who got handed Lee Harvey Oswald's file, with orders to investigate him, in October 1963. He failed to talk to Oswald in the ensuing month.

Hosty went to his grave saying nothing he could have done would have prevented JFK's assassination, but like everyone else in government he covered his backside when the investigations began.

More >>

​Area school districts and cities had to be breathing a big sigh of relief today as news came out that the executive director of the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality said "no" to handing out large tax breaks to Valero that would have made things even worse for cash-strapped government bodies.

Mark Vickery, in letters first obtained by the Associated Press, said that the oil company had not made its case that its special hydrotreating equipment was enough of a boon to the environment that Valero should receive a tax exemption for installing it.

More >>

A snow globe that makes sense.

​When you think "Texas," you don't necessarily think "snow," unless your mind is drawn to fatal and tragic accidents during Super Bowls in cities that should never have them.

But snow globes are an important aspect of the souvenir trade, so whether the places in question ever actually get much snow or not, there will be round soapflake-filled globules of water depicting them.

And that includes Texas.

More >>

Label this video Exhibit A

​Via our pals at the Bayou, we have found slam-dunk evidence that it is always a bad idea to participate in karaoke at your office Christmas party.

A clip of a Beaumont party includes what might be the world's worst rendition of "U Can't Touch This," and that is a very high bar indeed.

Highlights include white-girl dancing which should have included an extra-support sports bra. And the rare, rare occasions when the two singers actually sound somewhat like they've actually heard the song before.

The video, after the jump (if you're on our home page, otherwise it's obviously below).

More >>

The LBJ Museum will still resemble a bunker, even after renovations.

​The LBJ Presidential Library & Museum in Austin is not one of the best of its kind -- it was built before the era when presidential libraries went big-time and devoted more resources to attracting and wowing tourists rather than assisting bookwork scholars.

A large-scale renovation intended to bring the Austin landmark more into line with current museum methods is set to begin this month.

"This is a new day for LBJ," says director Mark Updegrove. "President Johnson insisted that the LBJ Library present an unvarnished look at his presidency, along with the triumphs and turmoil of the times. Now is our opportunity to present this story using 21st-century technology with state-of-the art interactive elements."

Buzzwords!!!

More >>

Texas parks: Visit or send cash or both, please.

​The crippling drought of 2011 left Texas parks under-visited and in need of cash to make up a budget shortfall, officials are saying.

The Texas Parks & Wildlife Department is putting out a call for people to come to the parks (and therefore generate revenue via admission fees) and also to make donations.

"A 'triple whammy' of record heat and drought, devastating wildfires and a corresponding decline in visitation and revenue has created a critical need for Texas State Parks," TPWD Executive Director Carter Smith said. "So, we are reaching out for help."

The agency has a $4.6 million shortfall in its $69 million budget, since admission fees -- which usually make up about half of revenue -- are down 11 percent.

More >>