There was a time when Chad Johnson actually co-hosted a reality show. In 2010, the then-Bengal wide receiver collaborated with teammate Terrell Owens on a 6 episode train wreck called The T. Ocho Show.

In 2012, Chad Johnson married a VH-1 reality television star named Evelyn Lozada, and there was a reality television show on the drawing board for the two of them until an argument ensued over a stray condom discovered in Johnson's vehicle, at which point Johnson allegedly dealt a very real head butt to Lozada's dome.

And that was the end of their reality television show on VH-1.

For a guy seemingly surrounded by so much reality, Chad Johnson lives a very unreal life.

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Every hero has his setbacks. Nothing is forever, and no story is just a perpetual arrow pointing upward, with puppy dogs and gumdrops (or, in this case, bikini clad coeds and jello shots) 24 by 7.

Rocky had to get his brains splattered by Clubber Lang one time, Luke Skywalker had to get his hand chopped off by Darth Vader (Happy fucking Father's Day!), and even Arnold wound up in the bicycle shop with Mr. Carlson for a little while on Diff'rent Strokes before getting the hell out of there. (Dudley wasn't so lucky.)

This weekend, it would appear at least (details are a tad sketchy), we hit our first pothole in the cavalcade of Patron, tail, golf, and bay fishing that is the Summer of Johnny.

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Are you ready for the Dubai Bowl?

Very few people have ever said that there are not enough college football games. Yet if the smaller, minor conferences have their way, then more college bowl games we'll be getting. And these bowl games won't just be in any minor location like Phoenix or New Orleans, they'll be in Dubai and Dublin and Nassau. And Little Rock.

This plan, according to ESPN, is born out of necessity. A necessity arising from the increasing difficulty of the minor conferences (American Athletic Confernce, Conference USA, Sun Belt, Mid-American and Mountain West), nicknamed the Group of Five, in finding bowl slots for their teams. And that difficulty is arising because the major conferences are refusing to play the minors in bowl games. Thus, a brand-new group of bowl games are being contemplated.

The American Athletic Conference, formerly known as the Big East, is one of the minor conferences, and it has admitted to discussions regarding a new bowl game to be played at Marlins Park in Miami. And Ken Hoffman, the executive who runs the Little Caesars Bowl, has stated that he's been contacted by officials with these minor conferences in regards to starting a bowl game in Dubai, Dublin and Toronto of Nassau.

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Photo by Bull-Dozer via Wikimedia.

Not Quessenberry's truck, but close.

For Texans rookie offensive tackle David Quessenberry, OTA's and mini camp have been the best of times and the worst of times.

On the one hand, with injuries to incumbent starter Derek Newton and fellow rookie Brennan Williams, the sixth-round draft choice out of San Jose State has been given an inordinate amount of reps at the right tackle position, a position that is very much up for grabs as the Texans head to training camp next month.

It would seem Quessenberry's chances of making the team have at the very least been enhanced, perhaps even solidified.

Now for the bad news...

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Did I spend a couple thousand words lamenting the Tebow Circus Conundrum yesterday in this space? I believe I did.

Did I laud Bill Belichick's terse responses to any question Tebow-related and his uncanny ability to defuse the Tebow hoopla before it even has a chance to get out of first gear? Why yes, in fact, that happened.

Did I even go so far as to accept blame on behalf of the media, admittedly taking one for other media members who are much more Tebow-centric (and frankly, self-centric) than I, for our mind-set of what constitutes "news" as pertains to Tebow? Indeed, I did.

So why, WHY then am I following up that post less than 24 hours later with another post about one Timothy Tebow?

Well, GAMBLING, that's why!

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"We've already talked enough about him, I think I've covered it. Anything else?" -- Bill Belichick on Tim Tebow, three minutes into his press conference Tuesday morning

Hear, hear!

As Tim Tebow sat on the shelf for the last several weeks, discarded by arguably the worst and most dysfunctional team in football, the buzz dying around the misfit toy of NFL quarterbacks, the rhetoric on his future has been that there was no place for him in the NFL.

No place for his narrow, ultra-specific skill set, and far more than that no place for the circus that seemingly follows Tebow wherever he goes.

Well, in roughly 180 seconds of press conference and in about a dozen words, with questions about Tebow bouncing off of him like hollow point bullets ricocheting off of Superman, Bill Belichick made it clear:

The circus may try to come to town, but they will get no resources, no free advertising, no nourishment feeding the beast.

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I don't care how funny you think you are, there are just certain times and places you don't joke around.

At or near the top of the list of places that you should back-burner any playfulness or boyish antics is when a judge is in the process of going easy on you for violation of your probation in a domestic abuse case (a female judge, no less!). Who hasn't been there before? Am I right, guys?...Huh?...Right?

Anyway, at that point, awaiting leniency, there are four words that should be in your vocabulary:

Yes. No. Thank you.

That's it.

Of all the people to have to try and keep their vocabulary to four words and quell the desire for "antics," Chad Johnson is perhaps the least equipped human being. Like least equipped out of everybody. Like, out of the whole human race. So when it came time to just accept a plea bargain and be on his way, the "soon-to-be jailbird formerly known as Ochocinco" couldn't help himself.

Here is the incredible video footage live from the courtroom:

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The University of Houston looks nice, shiny and new when viewed from the outside. There's a new stadium being constructed, additions being made to the University Center. New buildings dominate the rapidly expanding perimeter of the campus. Enrollment is up. Admission standards are up. It's a Tier One university.

But there's the uncontrolled sprawl. The pothole-filled streets surrounding the campus. The never-ending destruction of Scott Street for the light rail. The lack of available parking for students and visitors. The eyesores that are Agnes Arnold Hall and Philip Guthrie Hoffman are still in massive use. The English Department TAs are underpaid. It's as if the school is a Bluth Company development and the shaky foundation and iffy internet service are just now being discovered.

Take the Athletic Department. A glorious new stadium is arising from the ashes. There's the move to the American Athletic Conference. There's a brand-new women's golf team, and continued improvement for the tennis and men's golf teams. There's the brand-new uniforms. It's all nice and shiny on the outside.

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Here are two immutable truths:

1. Athletes all want to be actors and/or singers, and actors/singers all wish they could be athletes. It is well known that, despite many of them making millions in their respective vocations, the grass is always greener in the other celebrity category.

2. Johnny Manziel (or Johnny Football to the maroon clad portion of the reading audience... or Johnny Fucking Football to the shitfaced maroon clad portion of the reading audience.) loves him some country music. This was documented in my most recent Manziel-related post, wherein he is seen in a Vine video clip with country singer Bri Bagwell in a tour bus at a Josh Abbott Band show.

Tangentially, these two truths recently intersected on the set of the most recent music video for country singer (and A&M alum) Granger Smith and a song called "Silverado Bench Seat."

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It's early June, which means over the next two months, we are about to have a barrage of Navin Johnson "The new phonebooks are here!!" moments.

For non-movie watchers and those under the age of 35, that clip from The Jerk is my metaphor for an oddly over-the-top amount of exuberance for the revelation of small tidbits of information that are important to degenerates and junkies of my ilk. (Watch the movie, by the way, kids. The humor still holds up.)

Over the next couple months, "NEW PHONEBOOK" exuberance is reserved for:

- The first preseason college football polls
- Phil Steele's All American teams
- The first fantasy football magazines
- The main event for Summerslam
- Paulina Gretzky's Instagram account
- The first set of lines on college football

And that's where this post comes in, on gambling....

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