Texans Tracker: Texans Have Allegedly Already Decided on Jadeveon Clowney

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Clowney talk updates the tracker.
In previous years, we'd be in the home stretch for NFL Draft season now. Forever, the draft has been in or around the third weekend of April, but for reasons that don't really matter at this point, the league has moved it to May 8 through May 10.

And in the age of social media and a land rush to be the guy who guesses what the Texans do with the No. 1 overall pick, this means three more weeks of worthless conjecture, anonymous sources and "people tell me" journalism.

Currently, if there were a title for the king of this sort of reporting, Matt Miller of Bleacher Report would be running away with it.

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Awkward Nick Saban Photo Is Pretty Awesome

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Photo by Gymtide.com
This 2011 shot may be a cardboard cut-out of Nick Saban.
At its best, a major college athletic department is about synergy.

When you compete against the Goliaths of your sport in all sports, teams at a school need to be helping the other teams. All for one, one for all. (Add here whatever other cheesy motivational slogan about togetherness you can think of.)

Being the head coach of a perennial championship program even brings an added burden of giving back. Call it a rub, call it osmosis, call it the "magic touch," but if you're a championship coach, the other coaches at your school will and should want to tap into whatever strand of DNA it is that allows you to compete at such a high level.

Nick Saban knows this. I think. I'm pretty sure he knows this.

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Texans Defensive Line Coach Bill Kollar Once Wrestled a Bear

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R. H. Trueman. Library and Archives Canada, C-014070
Bear wrestling was how you proved your manhood, or earned a few bucks. Back in the day.
When Bill O'Brien was assembling his staff that would lead the Houston Texans into the new post-Kubiak frontier, it was widely assumed he would bring in entirely his own staff, and truth be told, he would've been completely justified in doing so.

I mean, 2-14 is 2-14. Clean house. Nobody would've had a problem with that.

However, when the new coaching staff was announced, we found out that there was one assistant coach who would be remaining on board -- defensive line coach Bill Kollar. (Eventually, it wound up being two, as special teams assistant Bob Ligashesky kept his gig as well, but this is a Kollar-centric post.)

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Fantasy Crime League Update: Aldon Smith Begins What Could Be 49er Surge

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Aldon Smith and his poor choice of bomb joke venues.
If Vegas had put out a big board on Sunday afternoon with a futures bet on "Next San Francisco 49er most likely to be charged with a crime," the prohibitive favorite would have been quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

After all, Kaepernick is under investigation for a "suspicious incident" in Miami where a woman was doing shots and smoking weed with Kaepernick and two other players, got naked with Kaepernick, and then woke up the next day in a hospital.

Kaepernick's been charged with nothing so far, but certainly he would seem to be teetering the closest to an arrest.

But when you're Aldon Smith, I guess you're always teetering close to an arrest just by being Aldon Smith, and on Sunday, you Kaepernick bettors would've had to crumple up your tickets.

Aldon Smith, Criminal, is back!

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Kliff Kingsbury Launches the Debate: Which College Football Head Coach Is the Best Dancer? (VIDEO)

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Photo by Don O'Brien
A lady killer like Kingsbury?
Every year, there's a weeding out process in college football, where the certain percentage of head coaches are cut loose, retire, or move onto other endeavors. The coaching carousel begins spinning and schools that fired their coach generally begin looking for something the opposite of the guy they just let go.

Schools that fired an offensive guy look for a defensive guy. Schools that fired an energetic spaz look for someone more stoic. Schools that had Charlie Weis or Mark Mangino look for someone thin.

And around and around we go.

However, Texas Tech may have completely changed the game with last year's hire of Kliff Kinsgbury.

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Houston Texans' Tough Choice: Number One Draft Pick Is a Blessing and a Curse

Categories: Football, Sports

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Even a solid career from Johnny Football would probably appease Texans fans.
You wouldn't think a team would consider having the number one pick in the draft an unenviable position, but the Texans may indeed find themselves in that very spot come May. Much like the last time the Texans picked at the top of the NFL draft, there is no consensus sure thing. In 2006, it came down to a hometown boy, a dynamic offensive threat and a pass rushing stud. That year, the Texans passed on both Vince Young and Reggie Bush for Mario Williams. Turns out, it was the right call, but it was never a popular move.

Even though Young went on to fail as an NFL quarterback and Bush had some moderate success as a back, Williams was saddled with whipping boy status almost immediately and never fulfilled expectations.

Ironically, there are some similarities to this year's choices. There isn't a Bush-like third option, but there is a Texas hero in Johnny Maziel, a big time pass rusher in Jadeveon Clowney and a pair of other QB prospects for the Texans to consider. It leaves them with some difficult choices to make.

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2014 Texans Cheerleader Tryouts (Video/Photos)

Categories: Football, Sports

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Photos by Groovehouse
Cheerleading is the hardest part-time job you can get.
Over 1,000 women, including at least one guy in jeans, took part in the 2014 Houston Texans Cheerleading tryouts this Saturday.

Like they do every year, the Houston Texans set up a panel of judges that included coaches and super-fans.

Slideshow: Texans Cheerleader Tryouts 2014

You think of cheerleaders as the ultimate guy fantasy, but many of the participants who came out were there just because. No one was turned away and of the hundreds that signed up they all got their shot to learn the moves and show off their dance moves.

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After seeing so many people strut in awkward unison for over two hours everyone started to look the same. But, if you really paid attention all the women were distinct and they all fell into four different categories of cheerleader hopefuls.


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Johnny Manziel Hanging Out With Marshall Henderson in Dallas (Uh-Oh!)

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Section217.com
Center of attention and maybe Johnny Football's BFF?
If you're one of the few who has managed to catch the new Kevin Costner film Draft Day (featuring guest star Arian Foster!) at a sneak preview, and you take it as being authentic, then you remember the pain staking efforts that Sonny Weaver (Costner's Browns' GM character) went to in order to gather as much information as he could on prospect Bo Callahan.

In some ways, Callahan's character mirrored very closely the real life version of Johnny Manziel, or at least most people's perception of Manziel.

Both were star quarterbacks, both won the Heisman Trophy, both had Instagram accounts that could keep perverted scouts occupied for days, and both were seen as "boom or bust" franchise prospects with no in between.

I won't spoil what happened on Draft Day, but let's just say every shred of Callahan-related data ended up being relevant to the Browns throughout the movie.

So, along those lines, I'm guessing the Texans are taking a keen interest in the pictures that surfaced this weekend of Manziel and Ole Miss guard Marshall Henderson.

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Fantasy Crime League: Bengals Get On The Board! (It Was Just a Matter of Time)

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Graphic by Monica Fuentes​
Oh, Bengals.
Every team is susceptible to a lull in their season, and sometimes that lull comes at the beginning. Slow starts happen. For some teams, they are a harbinger of things to come.

The slow start isn't so much a lull as it is just a fraction of a bigger pile of underachievement. For some teams, though, you know it's just a matter of time. Greatness can't be harnessed forever. The season is too long for us to avoid a regression to the mean.

Indeed, you knew it was just a matter of time before the Cincinnati Bengals got on the scoreboard in the 2014 NFL Fantasy Crime League.

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Fantasy Crime League Update: Chris Culliver Gets the 49ers on the Board in a Big Way!

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Graphic by Monica Fuentes
For those who can't act right.
If you're outside the city of San Francisco, and you know the name of San Francisco 49er defensive back Chris Culliver, it's probably for one thing.

Back during Media Day, prior to Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans, Culliver did an impromptu interview with comedian Artie Lange where they discussed a number of topics, almost none of them football-related. Media day, y'all!

In that interview, Culliver infamously made these homophobic remarks:

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