The play worked as designed, on both sides.

​I got home from my show this afternoon and, having just finished up talking about sports for five hours, I did what I normally do -- turn on one of the sports channels on television.

Luckily (or perhaps not so luckily, if I had any designs on being productive), I stumbled across a marathon of Sound FX on the NFL Network. For those of you that are unfamiliar, Sound FX is a no-narrator, field-level version of game highlights where usually a handful of players/coaches are wired for sound.

It takes the game and turns it into a virtual drama, turns the players into characters and sucks you in like a mosquito to a blue fluorescent light. It is awesome.

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The Twitter world blew up when Gisele Bundchen, supermodel wife of not-so-super QB Tom Brady, endearingly defended her man to boorish Giant fans, throwing his teammates under the bus in the process.

But that is apparently not the most important thing to know about Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. The most important thing, if Twitter is any guide, is that this married couple has sex.

That was a recurring theme surrounding the Super Bowl, tweeted by comics, normal people and three Web sites that have "Humor" in the name.

Revel in it all:

@TweetsLMAO
Even though Tom Brady lost the Super Bowl he still gets to go home and bang his Super Model wife Gisele.

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Gisele's next step: Calling in to sports-talk radio.

​A good woman stands by her man.

Prior to Super Bowl XLVI on Sunday, Gisele Bundchen, supermodel and wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, e-mailed a prayer request out to many of her close friends and family:

"My sweet friends and family,

This Sunday will be a really important day in my husband's life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this Super Bowl.

So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this Sunday."

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Oh here go hell come.

​In some alternate universe, the streets of Houston are currently bathed in Miller Lite, Reliant Stadium and every bar in town is a watch party, with even the homeless folks are wearing soiled Texans jerseys. But alas, our Houston Texans only made it into the second round of the playoffs, and here we sit together, watching two teams from up north -- ew -- battling it out in Indianapolis for the Vince Lombardi trophy.

Welcome to Super Bowl XLVI, between the New England Patriots, led by dreamboat Tom Brady, and the New York Giants, led by Eli Manning, whose brother Peyton's shadow has been looming over the proceedings the past two weeks. This is a rematch, pitting the same two teams from Super Bowl XLII in 2008, which I lost $20 on. On the bright side, well there is no bright side.

If you are already watching NBC's pre-game programming, how much do you hate Pizza Hut right now, and/or did you finally break down and order something? The plugging and commercials are relentless. HD is also not doing the 60-year-old Bob Costas any favors either. But that redhead in the Century 21 ad? That's making watching the two hours before the game worth it.

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Now with Hlavaty goodness!!

​The eyes of a nation will be turned to the Giants v. Patriots Sunday.

Your eyes, however, should set aside some time for our live-blogging of the epic event.

Our Craig Hlavaty will be here at Hair Balls offering insight into what's going on both on and off the field, starting at about 5 p.m.

Seeing as how Madonna is the halftime entertainment, it's a good bet there will be some stuff worth checking out.

You can join in on the conversation via the comments section.

If there's anything that can improve the Super Bowl, it's this, so don't miss out.

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Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

Danger lurks on Super Bowl Sunday.

​Earlier this week we brought you the solemn warning from Methodist Hospital, urging people to remember to pee during the Super Bowl.

If you don't, an expert said, you might end up in the ER with a catheter inserted into places you'd rather not have such things inserted.

But that is not the only way that experts say medical disasters, both life-threatening and otherwise, can mar your Super Bowl-viewing experience.

Among the warnings that have been given out, such dangers include:

5. Overfarting
Heed:

"The gluttonous marathon that is Super Bowl Sunday is tantamount to putting a 100-pound weight on a 10-pound hook when it comes to your gastrointestinal tract," says Bill Downs, a Philadelphia nutritionist and author of trafon.org, a self-proclaimed "fart blog." "We're talking big-time farting."

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Kelly Clarkson: Take the under on anthem length.

​Finally, the Super Bowl is upon us, and when you head out to that neighborhood party this Sunday, you may need some fabricated incentive to have a rooting interest in the game. I get that.

Sure, you can do it the ultra-lame way by buying a couple squares for five bucks and hoping that you randomly secure the second digit of each teams' score at the end of each quarter. (And I mean ultra-lame with a capital ULTRA.)

Or you can get your sports fan pick-me-up through the exotic world of proposition wagers, a much more civilized, intelligent, "thinking man's" way to amp up the intrigue-o-meter.

So without further ado, here are a few of my favorite prop bets for this weekend and my pick for the game:

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The ultimate dis, Super Bowl LXVI-style.

​So here we are, it's Thursday of Super Bowl week and we've had almost nothing to dig our teeth into from a story line perspective. I warned you earlier this week that it would be this way.

Hell, when news came down today that Rob Gronkowski would be a gametime decision because of his high ankle sprain, SportsCenter interrupted their regular news flow as if there was an end to a hostage crisis.

In short, this Super Bowl hype buildup week has been BOOORING.

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Judy Mallett, sans fiddle

​The Super Bowl seems to be running out of stadium-sized performers who can attract eyeballs (the Black-Eyed Peas?), and this year they're hoping that faded scandalist Madonna will do the trick.

It's not like they haven't been desperate before.

In the early days of the event, producers regularly turned to black marching bands like Grambling or Florida A&M to spice things up. Then they tended to celebrate Hollywood or Mardi Gras a lot, depending on the location.

Along the way, there have been some oddities onstage, performers who are either obscure, seem out of place, or names you'd forgotten had ever been involved with the show.

Here are ten:

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Deontay Greenberry: No way of telling

​There was a time not too long ago when the last-minute defection of wide receiver Deontay Greenberry from my alma mater Notre Dame to the University of Houston would have sent me into a mental funk that would have taken me a week from which to recover. After all, Greenberry is a dynamic "four star recruit" who "almost got a fifth star from Rivals.com."

And if that previous sentence and all of its mentions of these mythical stars makes no sense to you, consider yourself lucky.

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