Donatas Motiejunas Takes His Turn On Chandler Parsons

Don't see Parsons on there? Neither does D-Mo.
"Think before you speak." -- Chandler Parsons on Twitter, July 24, 2014

Chandler Parsons fired off these four words of advice late last week.

Taking a run through Parsons' Twitter feed, it's hardly a deluge of self-improvement axioms. He doesn't send out one of these a day to help his 234,000 followers make better life decisions, like some sort of hipster Confucius. No, Parsons Twitter timeline is mostly acknowledgement of other fellow NBA players and tips of the cap to really expensive restaurants in Vegas.

Indeed, Parsons' tweet about thinking before speaking had a much more specific target, likely former teammate James Harden on the heels of this quote last week:

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The Continuing CSN Houston Fiasco Makes Luc Besson Films Seem Sane and Logical

CSN Houston makes Luc Besson films seem sane and logical.
Luc Besson's movies teeter on the edge of insanity. They're full of stylized violence, shouting, slow motion and visual effects. They're full of bright colors, big stars, fancy camera moves and flashy editing. Yet his movies usually make zero sense, appear to have no script, don't follow the rules of logic, and are usually huge, big-budget messes. But when everything meshes, his movies are joyous wonders to watch.

CSN Houston is, in many ways, the equivalent of a Luc Besson movie. The continued existence of the network borders on the brink of insanity. It's loud and messy, and features big stars trying their best to distract viewers, owners and creditors from the mostly inferior product. CSN Houston is failing and it's failing fast. It's what happens when Bruce Willis is cut from The Fifth Element for more Chris Tucker, and there's just absolutely no chance than Gary Oldman is going to pop up and pull it out of its death spiral.

Sometime this week the good folks at Comcast are supposed to find out the identity of the secret bidder for the bankrupt network currently known as CSN Houston. And by the end of next week, there's an actual chance that the people of Houston will know the identity of this entity. That's all, if of course, this so-called entity is still interested in the nightmare known as CSN Houston. And if it is, at what cost is it interested in the network?

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Just How Houston Are You? Sports Edition

Just how Houston are you? Do you remember this team?
There was one of those stupid Twitter hashtags things about Houston this week, this one showing just how much of a Houstonian a person really is. I'm tired of writing about the depressing antics of the Houston Astros and CSN Houston, and I had to miss this week's CUSA Football Media Day in Dallas because of work issues. And frankly, I'm much too lazy to come up with something original to write about. So, with a sports theme, here's my version of #ImSoHouston...

1. ...that I remember when the Houston Rockets couldn't even sell out Hofheinz Pavilion.

2. ...that I remember Nolan Ryan pitching for the New York Mets.

3. ...that I remember what it was like to be awed by the best scoreboard spectacle in all sports.

4. ...that when I was a kid, the Houston Cougars played football in a major college football conference and went to major bowl games on a yearly basis.

5. ...that I recall Tal Smith when he was the beloved, recently deposed general manager of a playoff baseball team and not the guy who helped to destroy a winning franchise.

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Athlete Twitter #FF: Philadelphia 76er Joel Embiid

Via Twitter
Rookie Joel Embiid is becoming a Twitter star.
When you're the third pick in the NBA draft, there are a ton of expectations.

Even with the relatively mitigated risk of the rookie wage scale, fans in the city that drafted a player are expecting some sort of return on the team's investment in the player, and on their investment in season tickets. For young players, that can be a lot of pressure.

Now, when you're injured and can't help the team, that's a different kind of pressure altogether. Yes, it's important to heal properly, but eventually fans get impatient, especially in a cauldron like Philadelphia. What's a young player, especially one with, say, a debilitating foot injury, to do?

Well, so far, Sixers rookie center Joel Embiid seems to have found a solution.

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Rockets Sign 2nd Round Pick Nick Johnson (DUNK VIDEO)

Nick Johnson's poster the summer league.
If there were a Hall of Fame for highly valuable second round picks, it would likely be located in Houston, perhaps as an annex to the Toyota Center.

In the modern-day edition of the NBA draft, where the value of a draft choice has odd contractual ties to the round in which he is selected, no team has done better on draft night than the Houston Rockets.

(I was going to say no team has "taken better advantage of" the second round than the Rockets, which may still be true, but it's hard to feel like they've gamed the system when Chandler Parsons just walked for nothing after the team turned down a fourth year at $964,000. Probably semantics.)

Chase Budinger, Carl Landry, Parsons, hopefully Isaiah Canaan.

And if Daryl Morey's words about Nick Johnson match the actual output, we may have another plaque in the second round HOF.

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Stuart Scott's ESPY Speech Receiving the Jimmy V Perseverance Award Brings Down the House (VIDEO)

Not all that long ago, I was complaining to a buddy of mine with knowledge of the inner workings at ESPN about the "shtick" of some of the anchors/hosts.

Specifically, I told him that I was not a huge fan of Stuart Scott's work and that Chris Berman's gravelly barrage of jokes that were fresh in 1989 made me want to jam a crowbar through my brain. My friend proceeded to tell me that if anyone was going to have to change in my relationship with ESPN, it would be me because those two guys weren't going anywhere.

"Berman and Stu are the most powerful guys in the building," he said.

Let me just say that I'm still trying to reconcile my feelings with the two of them (both are, by all accounts, pretty nice guys, for what it's worth), but I struggle.

As it pertains to Scott, I respect his longevity, I respect his professionalism, I definitely respect his ability to build a brand. I'm just not wild about the brand.

I'm still not, but after last night's ESPY's, I am a huge fan of Stuart Scott the person and Stuart Scott the father.

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Zapruder Analysis of a Pool Dunk With LOTS OF FIRE (VIDEO)

Like a KISS concert with a pool and a basketball.
In the mid to late '90s, professional wrestling's popularity was skyrocketing with a battle between two huge companies on Monday night television.

In order to win the ratings battle, among many tactics, both companies tried to up the ante of gratuitous violence. The use of chairs begat the use of barbed-wire baseball bats, which begat the use of fire, which begat the use of....

You get the point.

Eventually, the ante was escalated so high that the audience became desensitized to the violence, and what at one time caused a huge reaction became white noise in the middle of an innocuous segment. In short, performers were hurting themselves in career-limiting fashion for very little viewership payoff.

I hope that suburban swimming pool dunks aren't headed down that same road.

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Five Things We Can Ascertain From Daryl Morey's Monday Interview

Daryl Morey's comments in interviews on Monday were revealing.
Sometimes things don't go quite the way we planned them. Houston Rockets fans learned this all too well in the past four days.

At lunchtime on Friday, it was all right there. A few more simple (albeit expensive) steps left to execute, and the Rockets would have the best starting five in the NBA, and still have a few more tricks up their collective sleeve to fill in around a core of Dwight Howard, James Harden, Chris Bosh and Chandler Parsons.

(Yes, those players listed absolutely necessarily in that order. More on this in a minute.)

And then Bosh happened. And then a two-day scramble mode happened. And then it was good-bye to Chandler Parsons. And suddenly, where on Friday everyone was planning a coronation, now it looked like there would be another few months of construction.

What does it all mean? Where exactly are the Rockets right now?

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Is the CSN Houston Madness Almost Over? Maybe

csn houston.jpg
Please let this nightmare be almost over
The Beatles once wrote that happiness is a warm gun. They were singing about heroin. But truthfully, it's not to hard to imagine them digging their way through the latest happenings arising from the CSN Houston bankruptcy and literally figured that happiness involved putting a gun to their heads as a way of ending the madness.

The madness flared to life again yesterday with an emergency hearing arising from the request of the Rockets and the Astros to keep certain information confidential. And not just confidential from the public, but kept away from the third owner of the network, Comcast. The request, they stated, was the wish of a prospective buyer of the network with whom they're currently negotiating. The potential buyer is asking that its identity and the terms of its potential purchase be kept from the network board until it gives permission or until July 31, whichever date comes first.

Before getting to the nuts and bolts of the legalities and arguments, let's get to the really important part. There is a third party out there willing to step in and complete the restructuring of the network. Or rather, there's a sucker out there willing to buy a bankrupt Houston-based regional sports network with only about 40-percent carriage in the Houston area and whose prime assets are one of the worst teams in baseball and a basketball team that got bounced in the first round of the playoffs last season and just made it worse for the upcoming season.

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Rockets GM Daryl Morey: "By Playoffs, We Will Be Better Than Last Year"

Categories: Basketball, Sports

Always cool.
There's a picture on Daryl Morey's Facebook page that is almost exactly five years old.

It's a picture from a July trip to Las Vegas for the NBA's Summer League, and presumably a night of unwinding in one of the casinos playing some blackjack. The caption to the picture says "Rockets win and then this in blackjack. Not bad."

"This" is four hands of blackjack after two splits of aces, a scenario where the odds are like the same as two strangers having identical DNA. It's an amazing and an appropriate metaphor for how the last two offseasons have gone for the Houston Rockets.

In 2012, they brought in James Harden for Kevin Martin's expiring contract, a late lottery pick (became Steven Adams), and some other slop. In 2013, they sold Dwight Howard on charting his next four (hopefully) years here in Houston.

In 2014, what's the appropriate blackjack metaphor?

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