Johnny Manziel Autographed Jersey Expected to Fetch $100K

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How much would this autographed go for?
I'm not quite sure where the whole Johnny Manziel train is headed. All indications lately seem to be that it's on course for a fiery football pile-up once Manziel finally takes the field in an actual NFL game against a team with different-colored jerseys.

There have been reports of Cleveland's brass -- personnel management and ownership -- being completely distraught over the way Manziel has handled his offseason. If you're scoring at home, Manziel has reportedly traveled to party during eight of his 11 weekends since he was drafted by the Browns in May.

That's an awesome completion percentage if you're tossing footballs to wide receivers and tight ends. That's a scary completion percentage if you've invested millions in Manziel's on-field success.

Yeah, the Manziel Experience is on the cusp of breaking badly right now.

So everyone who makes his living sopping gravy off of Manziel's plate had better get while the getting is good, which brings us to the latest wing, that some piece of signed Manziel gear is going to add to some memorabilia dealer's house.

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Donatas Motiejunas Takes His Turn On Chandler Parsons

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Don't see Parsons on there? Neither does D-Mo.
"Think before you speak." -- Chandler Parsons on Twitter, July 24, 2014

Chandler Parsons fired off these four words of advice late last week.

Taking a run through Parsons' Twitter feed, it's hardly a deluge of self-improvement axioms. He doesn't send out one of these a day to help his 234,000 followers make better life decisions, like some sort of hipster Confucius. No, Parsons Twitter timeline is mostly acknowledgement of other fellow NBA players and tips of the cap to really expensive restaurants in Vegas.

Indeed, Parsons' tweet about thinking before speaking had a much more specific target, likely former teammate James Harden on the heels of this quote last week:


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2014 Fantasy Crime League: Final Standings, Season Awards

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Congratulations?
After much debate and conjecture, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell weighed all the evidence, circumstantial and (presumably) visual, and handed down the punishment:

Ray Rice would be suspended for the first two games of the 2014 season for his part in a violent incident with his then-fiancée/now-wife Janay Palmer a few months ago in an Atlantic City casino, an incident that included some disturbing surveillance footage of Rice dragging an unconscious Palmer out of an elevator.

The Internet exploded, the media railed and Stephen A. Smith almost ended his career with a head-scratching, awful take on women's role in domestic violence.

Indeed, if any of this -- suspensions, reaction, relevance -- mattered for purposes of my NFL offseason Fantasy Crime League, the Ravens would have run away with the 2014 title.

But alas, those things don't count, and in a reversal of the 2013 Super Bowl, the San Francisco 49ers emerged "victorious."

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The Continuing CSN Houston Fiasco Makes Luc Besson Films Seem Sane and Logical

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CSN Houston makes Luc Besson films seem sane and logical.
Luc Besson's movies teeter on the edge of insanity. They're full of stylized violence, shouting, slow motion and visual effects. They're full of bright colors, big stars, fancy camera moves and flashy editing. Yet his movies usually make zero sense, appear to have no script, don't follow the rules of logic, and are usually huge, big-budget messes. But when everything meshes, his movies are joyous wonders to watch.

CSN Houston is, in many ways, the equivalent of a Luc Besson movie. The continued existence of the network borders on the brink of insanity. It's loud and messy, and features big stars trying their best to distract viewers, owners and creditors from the mostly inferior product. CSN Houston is failing and it's failing fast. It's what happens when Bruce Willis is cut from The Fifth Element for more Chris Tucker, and there's just absolutely no chance than Gary Oldman is going to pop up and pull it out of its death spiral.

Sometime this week the good folks at Comcast are supposed to find out the identity of the secret bidder for the bankrupt network currently known as CSN Houston. And by the end of next week, there's an actual chance that the people of Houston will know the identity of this entity. That's all, if of course, this so-called entity is still interested in the nightmare known as CSN Houston. And if it is, at what cost is it interested in the network?

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Andre Johnson Reports to Texans Training Camp

Categories: Football, Sports

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Photo by Groovehouse
He's back. Thank God.
Numerous reports Friday morning indicate that Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson has reported to training camp and will begin workouts with the team. This comes amid much speculation that the disgruntled veteran had been present at NRG Stadium early in the week though his agent would not confirm it and reports from various media outlets stated this was not indicative of Johnson's imminent return.

Since the end of last season's 2-14 debacle, Johnson, who is under contract for two more seasons, reportedly has been unhappy with the team. The Texans dealt Matt Schaub to Raiders and fired head coach Gary Kubiak and while they did replace Kubiak with Bill O'Brien, someone that seems to now have Johnson's respect, they did not draft a high profile quarterback and head into training camp with Ryan Fitzpatrick as the presumed starter.

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Constructing the Perfect Five-Man College Football Coaching Wrecking Crew

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Sean is up for the challenge.
To say that the internet is the gift that keeps on giving implies that we're cool with all of its little trends, memes, and time wasters.

To be clear, there is plenty of repetitive, over-thought sludge that comes from our friend, the world wide web. Tebowing and flash mobs had their runs as general web nuisances, and don't get me started on whoever brought Gangnam style into the mainstream.

But occasionally, we get morsels of brain food that spark debate and evoke thought. To that end, of late, there seem to be a preponderance of salary cap style opinion purchase challenges (that's the best way I can describe them). In other words, "You have twenty bucks, here's five groups of mobsters categorized by city, each with his own price -- now go put together the most bad ass crew possible. GO!"

I don't know how it happened, I'm just glad it did. I love stuff like this. And with the college football season almost here, this is the latest....

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Just How Houston Are You? Sports Edition

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Just how Houston are you? Do you remember this team?
There was one of those stupid Twitter hashtags things about Houston this week, this one showing just how much of a Houstonian a person really is. I'm tired of writing about the depressing antics of the Houston Astros and CSN Houston, and I had to miss this week's CUSA Football Media Day in Dallas because of work issues. And frankly, I'm much too lazy to come up with something original to write about. So, with a sports theme, here's my version of #ImSoHouston...

1. ...that I remember when the Houston Rockets couldn't even sell out Hofheinz Pavilion.

2. ...that I remember Nolan Ryan pitching for the New York Mets.

3. ...that I remember what it was like to be awed by the best scoreboard spectacle in all sports.

4. ...that when I was a kid, the Houston Cougars played football in a major college football conference and went to major bowl games on a yearly basis.

5. ...that I recall Tal Smith when he was the beloved, recently deposed general manager of a playoff baseball team and not the guy who helped to destroy a winning franchise.

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Athlete Twitter #FF: Philadelphia 76er Joel Embiid

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Via Twitter
Rookie Joel Embiid is becoming a Twitter star.
When you're the third pick in the NBA draft, there are a ton of expectations.

Even with the relatively mitigated risk of the rookie wage scale, fans in the city that drafted a player are expecting some sort of return on the team's investment in the player, and on their investment in season tickets. For young players, that can be a lot of pressure.

Now, when you're injured and can't help the team, that's a different kind of pressure altogether. Yes, it's important to heal properly, but eventually fans get impatient, especially in a cauldron like Philadelphia. What's a young player, especially one with, say, a debilitating foot injury, to do?

Well, so far, Sixers rookie center Joel Embiid seems to have found a solution.

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Houston Texans Sign Tyson Clabo, So It's Probably Safe to Make Wild 53-Man Roster Picks

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Shaping up for training camp.
Completely and utterly sucking the previous season has its privileges in the National Football League.

As a fan of the Houston Texans (if you are one), you may already know this, and if you didn't know this, you will find out repeatedly throughout the preseason and the early part of the regular season.

Sure, we all know about the privileges on draft night. First overall pick, Clowney, first pick in every round, "A second is really like a first! A third is really like a second!", blah blah blah... Well, there is also another key privilege that manifests itself frequently throughout the "roster construction" phase this summer, and that's being at the front of the one for any waiver cuts throughout the league.

Yes, the Texans essentially get dibs on other teams' garbage as they put it on the curb. It's like they're the most privileged homeless person ever!

As a result, the depth chart is probably going to look like a sea of revolving doors until Bill O'Brien determines he has the group he's ready to hit the over on 7/5 wins with.


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Five "Nights" the Astros Can Use to Sell Tickets in September

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Breaking Bad night?
When it comes to the standings, Major League Baseball (or any other team sport, for that matter) is a zero-sum game.

One team wins, one team loses, and in baseball, by the time August rolls around, from a business standpoint, you just hope that the teams that lose regularly are in cities where the fans attach fewer conditions to attendance than in other cities. St. Louis, Boston, Chicago....those seem like places where tickets still get sold even if the team is ten games under .500.

Unfortunately, many cities aren't nearly as unconditional with their love for their hometown team, so it sends marketing and promotions departments scrambling for solutions to create buzz, fill seats and generate revenue.

Phoenix is one of those passive sports cities.

At 44-57 heading into Wednesday's games, the Diamondbacks are on a long road to nowhere, mired in a battle for third place in the NL West with the equally underwhelming San Diego Padres. So how does Arizona get fans out to the ballpark for a Sunday game against the woeful Chicago Cubs?

Here's how:

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