Bo Porter has no time for your petty concerns

There's been a lot of nonsense coming out of the Houston Astros this week. Primarily the nonsense around the Houston Area Women's Center and a canceled gala that instead of being handled quietly saw the Astros filtering press statements through attorneys. Here's a hint, the Astros lost that PR war. There was also the departure of team president George Postolos who supposedly resigned to return to his consulting business. So welcome aboard Reid Ryan. Now how about getting a television deal handled?

But lost in all of that insanity has been the team's continued crappy play on the field. And lost in the team's continued crappy play on the field is the fact that some of the players aren't exactly thrilled with the machinations of new manager Bo Porter.

You don't get any of that from Chronicle beat writer Brian T. Smith's craptastic puff-piece profile of Bo Porter that ran behind that damn payroll in Sunday's Chronicle. In that piece, Porter is presented as a Greek god, stranded on earth with the mere mortals who can't live up to the expectations that Porter places on himself.

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In the game of "Bucket List," Johnny Manziel is officially running up the score on all of us.

Over the weekend, the Texas A&M Heisman Trophy winning quarterback capped off a round at Pebble Beach with his parents by knocking in a birdie on 18 to break 80. About the only surprising thing about that is that he was with his parents and not Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus.

So what's the best way to chase a round of golf at Pebble and a week in the sunny tranquility of the really nice parts of Southern California?

Well, how about a little batting practice at Petco Park?

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The Astros desperately want Nolan Ryan as part of their organization. Today, it appears as if they might get as close as they have been in a while. Multiple sources are reporting the Astros will announce the hiring of Reid Ryan, son of the Hall of Fame pitcher, as their Team President today after former president George Postolos resigned on Monday.

Reid currently serves as the CEO of both the Corpus Christi Hooks -- AA affiliate of the Astros -- and Round Rock Express -- AAA affiliate of the Rangers. His father is the CEO of the Rangers, but has been reportedly at odds with GM Ron Washington fueling speculation he might ultimately take a similar position with the Astros, something he has repeatedly denied. Nolan is also part owner of both the Hooks and the Express.

With the father owning the minor league teams and CEO of the Rangers and the son to be the president of the Astros, the Ryans will be practically running professional baseball in the state of Texas. And you thought that the only good thing to come of the move to the AL West was the potential rivalry with the Rangers.

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It must hurt to go into a season with the highest of hopes, dreams of a championship, go through the grind of an 82 game regular season to secure a one seed, and then have it all go up in smoke in a matter of about a week.

It's been so long since I had a team I was emotionally invested in head into a season with realistic title hopes to the degree of the Oklahoma City Thunder this past season, I almost forget what that it feels like.

But based on the reaction of Oklahoma City fans on Twitter last night after the Thunder finished their quiet fade into 2013 playoff oblivion, bowing out in five games to the Memphis Grizzlies, it appears to be the worst level of excruciating.

I mean, how else do you explain fully grown adults threatening bodily harm on Rockets point guard Patrick Beverley?

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"There's such a thing... as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners." -- Jerry Maguire

There is no easy way to disband an event like the Astros Wives' gala, a fantastic annual spectacle that's simultaneously raised over $4 million in 23 years for the Houston Area Women's Center while shedding a light upon the need to address an insidious subculture of domestic and sexual abuse in our society.

When you're Jim Crane and you decide that this event will no longer take place, there will be backlash, especially when you have a "goodwill equity account" that looks like a homeless man's credit report.

And make no mistake, after a seemingly endless string of public relations gaffes, that's the situation in which Crane and the Astros have put themselves.

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Photo by Groovehouse

Les Alexander (center) flanked by the former players who helped keep him from being completely hated by fans.

Fame has a fifteen minute half-life, infamy lasts a little longer. - The Insider

Owners of sports franchises never have it easy. From Charlie Thomas to Les Alexander, John McMullen to Drayton McLane, Bud Adams to, yes, even Bob McNair, fans are ruthless and we're talking Houston, not Philadelphia or New York, where fans boo Santa Claus and throw batteries at players on the field. Losing often makes owners an easy target and our teams have lost a lot.

But when it comes to endearing yourself to the fans, the biggest problems are rarely created by on-the-field (or court) moves. Sure, the local professional teams have made more than their fair share of gaffes, but they have had successes as well. The Rockets won two titles. The Astros went to a World Series. Even the Oilers won AFL championships and made the AFC title game twice during the Luv Ya Blue era.

Still, previous local owners are nearly as famous for their off-field blunders as their bad draft picks, poor coaching or general manager hires and ridiculous trades. Now Jim Crane is having his moment and it's ugly. From the shake up in the front office to the changes in the broadcast booth to Crane's own idiotic comments in the media, and now the mess with the Houston Area Women's Center and Astros Wives Organization, the Astros owner is finding out the hard way what others before him have realized: It takes more than a winning team on the field to make the fans happy.

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I'll be honest, until this weekend I didn't even know that the Iroquois Steeplechase in Nashville was a thing. Had no idea.

Even after I found out it was a thing, after seeing my colleague Clay Travis (Nashville talk-show host and founder of outkickthecoverage.com) tweet that he was on his way out there this weekend, I didn't think anything of it. I certainly didn't think to myself, "Iroquois Steeplechase...I GOT to get there before my time on earth is through."

Well, one Youtube catfight video later, I realize how completely and utterly wrong I was not to think that immediately.

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One man's opinion...not whether too little Astro/baseball coverage on local sports radio, but whether too much football in off season.

— Greg Lucas(@GREGCLUCAS) May 13, 2013

Former Astros broadcaster Greg Lucas tweeted the above a few days ago, and it resonated with me and something I've been thinking lately. I do understand how the lack of winning and seemingly endless number of changes on the field and off over at Minute Maid has caused fan interest to wane. It also hasn't helped that they and the Rockets are not on TV thanks to the continuing stalemate between the owners of CSN Houston (i.e., the teams) and cable networks not named Comcast.

As a result, it isn't surprising that the fans and media have put the Astros on virtual ignore. It has even led over the last couple years 790's Matt Thomas and his daily "Obligatory Astros Call" (complete with theme music).

But, looking more closely, it goes beyond just a lack of interest in these current Astros.

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A couple years ago during the NFL lockout, much was made of the arrest list compiled by NFL people during the league's self-imposed downtime. (I use the word "people" because it wasn't just players. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers had a coach and a front office person make the list.)

When the season was set to resume in July 2011, we tallied things up to see which team had "won the race" for the Crimesman Trophy for offseason crime (with the actual trophy being a version of the Hesiman, except instead of the right arm pointing out holding off would-be defenders, both arms were being handcuffed).

Not surprisingly, Tampa Bay took home the prize with Kenny Britt singlehandedly putting the Titans in the runner-up spot.

Well, with the league getting a little (stress little) more risk-averse when it comes to employing turds, we might have to readjust how we track the Crimesman for the 2013 offseason, what with Titus Young and Cliff Harris both unemployed right now. These two titans of crime might force us to make the Crimesman an individual award.

"Titus Young and Cliff Harris?" some of you may be asking. Who? Well, I'll tell you.

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Are the Rice Owls to blame for Philip Humber's suckitude?

Philip Humber was designated for assignment by the Astros yesterday. This came after his disastrous relief performance against the Rangers on Saturday night. And with that the feel good story about the Rice pitching star coming back to Houston to rejuvenate his career is over.

Humber, one of the aces of Rice's 2003 College World Series winning squad, never achieved the success in the majors that was projected of him. He was the number one draft choice of the New York Mets, the third pick in that year's draft, but not long afterwards broke down and battled injuries and ineffectiveness as he bounced around teams.

He threw a perfect game for the Chicago White Sox last season, but was released before the season was over. The Astros signed him in the off-season as part of their attempt to build a major league rotation on the cheap. He was perhaps the team's best picture for his first three starts, but then things fell apart and he never recovered.

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